Thursday, January 31, 2008

take an armful. make a treat.

Wow. When the employees of Institutional Assessment & Analysis arrived at our office this morning, there was a little surprise waiting for us. In the form of a note, left on the keyboard of one of our student desks, that read as follows:
Please don't eat popcorn here. You always drop 2-3 kernals.

The obvious author is the custodian assigned to cleaning our little office suite. I have to say I am amazed by this note. I mean, it takes a lot of gumption to write a request that basically could be paraphrased, "Please don't make me do any work for my job." Is this guy kidding? I'm assuming it's a guy based on the hand-writing. Yay gender stereotypes. But how do you have a job where the entire premise is based upon cleaning up messes, and then complain about the existence of a mess?? Doesn't he know those popcorn kernels are paying his BILLS? We start being clean freaks and you're out of a job pal. I know there are currently at least three custodians assigned to this building; without a rogue kernel or two making its way to the floor I'm sure they could downsize. And who would be the first to get the axe? Well, the guy begging for less work, obviously. Furthermore, I'm intrigued by his specificity--2-3 kernels a day? Has he been keeping a tally, finding means and standard deviations? I'd love to see his Popcorn Droppage Bell Curve. I think one thing is quite telling, though: "kernals." Note the A. I guess maybe he shouldn't set his sights too high above that career in custodial work.

Today I am more excited about a Relief Society activity than I've ever been before. Not that that's really indicative of much, I mean an excitement level of 12% would probably be higher than I've ever previously been about a Relief Society activity. But I am really legitimately looking forward to this. We're going to the BYU Museum of Art and having a tour guided by Martha Peacock, Ph.D./member of the Sharon 5th Ward. I had her as a professor my freshman year of college for a General Ed class (art history, as you may have guessed) and still consider her to be the best teacher I ever had. As in, so so good at the act of teaching. Not that she was the one I was closest with, or loved most, or was most inspired by, but just plain best at teaching. And tonight I get an hour or more of her talking about art! Lucky me.

If you're not Mormon, and don't know what Relief Society is, why it's only the oldest women's organization in the world. It's been doing all kinds of good since St. Patty's Day 1842. Charity never faileth.

I can't wait to make so many messes in my office today.


mom said...

You are my favorite writer. You are always good for a laugh. I would love to go to the museum tonight. The ending was ironic - I'm sure on purpose. Charity never faileth.
I can't wait to make so many messes in my office today.

ashley said...

I do not miss the custodians - why do they hire hooligans, give them keys and permission to be somewhere unsupervised, and really expect them to do their job?? I called the supervisor multiple times to complain when I was working there. Highly recommended. I'm sure no results came of my calls, but what's most important is I felt better.

Okay, I know, but you probably DID your job.

I hope you had some crumbly crackers for a snack today.

The Mediocre Gatsby said...

I am jealous of your tour. I assume you will be seeing the Minerva Teichert exibit. I want to see that so bad.

You still work at BYU right?

I once had a art teacher who taught at BYU and he told us about how one night the janitor started looking through the art books in the classroom and then reported to the dean that they contained paintings of pornography (nudes).

Tracy said...

I love what you just did there Matt, combining the two themes of this post in one delightful anecdote. Nicely done.

Ethan said...

Sometimes it's good to make more work for people so that they have better job security.

Janae said...

Oh wow, your "kernal" conclusion made me laugh. Loved it.

I have since eaten popcorn at my place, but I pick up the "2-3 kernals" right after I drop them. That silly, silly boy.