Friday, February 12, 2010

modern love

It's the weirdest thing, see, I'm so excited for Valentine's Day this year. I have no reason to be! I'm not in love, in the traditional sense. But every minute I keep shoving love and hearts and pink and candy in everyone's face. One of my most incredibile friends (Deanna! It's you!) asked me what specifically I love about Valentine's Day and I realized I had not one little answer for her. But I guess the answer is lying right there in the question? The word love?

Lately it's like I only come around this blog (that's website to you, Brad) if I want to gush about ohhhh the woooorld is so beeeauuutiful and life is so amaaaaazing and I'm so lucky lucky lucky and I LOVE EVERYTHING. That's pretty obnoxious, right? I would be annoyed by it. Guess what, I totally don't care, I'm doing it again.

I LOVE EVERYTHING. And that right there is why I love Valentine's Day. Because it's a time of year where for once it's socially appropriate to tell everyone, straight up, flat out, hey I love you. Maybe we never see each other outside of M-F 9:00-5:00 but I love you for working through a lunch to help me meet a deadline. Maybe you are old and married with kids and not at all in the same stage of life as I am but I love you for listening to my dating woes and thrills. Maybe I actually only e-know you but I love you for clicking like on my facebook pictures and sending me funny little messages. Maybe we don't know each other's names and will never know each other's stories but I love you for acting like you recognize me every time I check out at your aisle at Rite Aid. Maybe I have a crush on you and want to spend more time with you and it's creepy to tell you that I love you but I love you for making my day a little more exciting when my phone rings and your name pops on the screen. Maybe I have known you for my entire life, or yours, and we have been through every possible up and down together yet still have so much to know about each other, but I love you for sticking so hard by my side that whole time and for the guarantee that you're always going to stay there (that one is for Kecks). Maybe we haven't even met yet and you are just a half-formed idea of a friend or a child or a lover out there in my future but I already love you for the daydreams you give me. Man oh man how could I NOT love Valentine's Day?? I get to SAY these things instead of just feeling them!

Of course it could be attributed to such simpler things--an abundance of good music indulging my ears lately, Utah unrelentingly driving the point home that it is so so beautiful, an inordinate number of babies coming into my life, that Google Super Bowl ad--but I really think this barrage of love I've been feeling is real and deep and lasting. It's so hip to be disinterested and unmoved and unimpressed by things and I reject that. I am interested, I am moved, I am impressed. By you, probably. The other day--too few days ago--I decided I wanted to write a little Valentine's love letter to every single person I love and then realized there literally was not time. I made my list of people and used up sheet after sheet after sheet in my favorite notebook (Julia! This love shout-out is for you!) and a few pages in became overwhelmed at how many wonderful people are in my life. And then I was crying and laughing and turned the music up louder in celebration that I never have reason to be lonely ever ever ever.

So, happy Valentine's Day, love. I'm so glad I know you.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


The most important thing to happen to my cell phone today was this picture message I got from my mom. She and Pops are setting sail on a luxury cruise liner.

Our dancing waiters. It almost makes me cry to see all these people from all over the world singing and dancing together. Maybe that is the key to world peace. We are underway so soon will lose service. Talk to you sunday

Saturday, February 6, 2010

new kid in town

Oh how things have changed since yesterday. Suddenly there is a whole new person in my life who will be important and relevant not just for a while but for a forever. It’s weird, right? I keep seeing all over the place—on facebooks, on blogs, on texts (we’re so 2010)—things about Joel David Keck. Wait, who? I know all the Kecks, and there isn’t one named Joel, let alone Joel David. The only Joel David I know is some serial killer, and I only know him because he was referenced on some Seinfeld episode. But suddenly out of nowhere, this supposed “Joel David Keck” is a central figure in my life. I can’t quite wrap my head around it yet. I’m trying.

I didn’t know Kyle when he was only a few hours old. He was born around Christmas which of course complicated things, so by the time I met few-week-old Kyle he didn’t look alien and unknown and personality-free. He seemed like a real human already. So it’s different getting to know this Joel, who is so fresh and new and unspotted that we can’t even assume one little thing about him. I can’t even guarantee he has eyes yet; all I’ve seen are lids. But maybe that just makes me so much more excited for him. I’ve talked with a friend or two about how it’s kind of the worst when someone assumes they know us from the start—acting all “oh these are your good qualities and such-and-such are your bad,” when they’ve no right to be making such assessments. So maybe it’s the best possible thing for mine and Joel’s relationship that neither of us can safely assume even one thing about the other. We’re starting with the blankest possible slate, and I think that will translate to it being the very truest slate. No false hopes or disillusionment or pretense on either side. Just knowing-really-knowing each other for as long as he shall live. I’ve never quite been privy to such a relationship before and I can’t wait to learn what it’s like.

He’s a fast heart-winner, though. I was worried I could never possibly love another like I do my Kyle 2 but Joel took about 1.5 seconds to put those worries to rest. And maybe someday I’ll get bored of this. Brad and Jason and Erica will have so many millions of babies that I’ll be all eh ain’t no thang, babies, whatever. But I love that for now, Joel’s existence, and Kyle’s, are such big deals. The biggest deals.

I mean look at him! He’s all, “whaaaaat?!???!? Are you being serious right now??? I just got out of a womb and you’re making me get this cold hard metal crap all over me? Can’t a guy get some sleep?” And man oh man can I relate to every teensy little bit of that. Holy cow, I love this picture, I love this kid.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

gimme a break

yesterday some Brit candy bar tried to bring me down

but today Valentine's Kit Kat totally had my back

Monday, February 1, 2010

enough with the air quotes

There is this little device used commonly in English that quite frankly I have had ENOUGH of. Clearly it's not the practice of ending a sentence with a preposition. No, it's something much more malignant. Three little words affixed to the beginning of a phrase, which add absolutely no value or meaning to said phrase. The only purpose they serve--or at least, fulfill--is to portray their speaker as irritatingly timid and unsure. Are you ready for it?

just. thought. I'd.

"Want to go out tonight? No? Just thought I'd ask." "Just thought I'd stop by and say hi." "Just thought I'd see what's going on this weekend." "Do you know when the concert is? Just thought I'd check."

You don't need to announce that you thought of doing a thing before you actually did it. That you first thought of it is implied by the fact that YOU THEN IMMEDIATELY DID IT. Sheesh.