Friday, February 12, 2010

modern love

It's the weirdest thing, see, I'm so excited for Valentine's Day this year. I have no reason to be! I'm not in love, in the traditional sense. But every minute I keep shoving love and hearts and pink and candy in everyone's face. One of my most incredibile friends (Deanna! It's you!) asked me what specifically I love about Valentine's Day and I realized I had not one little answer for her. But I guess the answer is lying right there in the question? The word love?

Lately it's like I only come around this blog (that's website to you, Brad) if I want to gush about ohhhh the woooorld is so beeeauuutiful and life is so amaaaaazing and I'm so lucky lucky lucky and I LOVE EVERYTHING. That's pretty obnoxious, right? I would be annoyed by it. Guess what, I totally don't care, I'm doing it again.

I LOVE EVERYTHING. And that right there is why I love Valentine's Day. Because it's a time of year where for once it's socially appropriate to tell everyone, straight up, flat out, hey I love you. Maybe we never see each other outside of M-F 9:00-5:00 but I love you for working through a lunch to help me meet a deadline. Maybe you are old and married with kids and not at all in the same stage of life as I am but I love you for listening to my dating woes and thrills. Maybe I actually only e-know you but I love you for clicking like on my facebook pictures and sending me funny little messages. Maybe we don't know each other's names and will never know each other's stories but I love you for acting like you recognize me every time I check out at your aisle at Rite Aid. Maybe I have a crush on you and want to spend more time with you and it's creepy to tell you that I love you but I love you for making my day a little more exciting when my phone rings and your name pops on the screen. Maybe I have known you for my entire life, or yours, and we have been through every possible up and down together yet still have so much to know about each other, but I love you for sticking so hard by my side that whole time and for the guarantee that you're always going to stay there (that one is for Kecks). Maybe we haven't even met yet and you are just a half-formed idea of a friend or a child or a lover out there in my future but I already love you for the daydreams you give me. Man oh man how could I NOT love Valentine's Day?? I get to SAY these things instead of just feeling them!

Of course it could be attributed to such simpler things--an abundance of good music indulging my ears lately, Utah unrelentingly driving the point home that it is so so beautiful, an inordinate number of babies coming into my life, that Google Super Bowl ad--but I really think this barrage of love I've been feeling is real and deep and lasting. It's so hip to be disinterested and unmoved and unimpressed by things and I reject that. I am interested, I am moved, I am impressed. By you, probably. The other day--too few days ago--I decided I wanted to write a little Valentine's love letter to every single person I love and then realized there literally was not time. I made my list of people and used up sheet after sheet after sheet in my favorite notebook (Julia! This love shout-out is for you!) and a few pages in became overwhelmed at how many wonderful people are in my life. And then I was crying and laughing and turned the music up louder in celebration that I never have reason to be lonely ever ever ever.

So, happy Valentine's Day, love. I'm so glad I know you.


Erica said...

This reminds me of so many things that I want to say and contribute and "amen" at, but instead I will just say that I love you too.

Tyson & Gina said...

That was a GOOD post and it made me feel happy! I love you and am so glad you're my cousin. We're so bad at inviting people over (I think we've done it twice since living in this apartment and one of them was my family) but maybe someday we'll actually invite you awesome Kecks over for dinner and games! :D