Saturday, February 6, 2010

new kid in town

Oh how things have changed since yesterday. Suddenly there is a whole new person in my life who will be important and relevant not just for a while but for a forever. It’s weird, right? I keep seeing all over the place—on facebooks, on blogs, on texts (we’re so 2010)—things about Joel David Keck. Wait, who? I know all the Kecks, and there isn’t one named Joel, let alone Joel David. The only Joel David I know is some serial killer, and I only know him because he was referenced on some Seinfeld episode. But suddenly out of nowhere, this supposed “Joel David Keck” is a central figure in my life. I can’t quite wrap my head around it yet. I’m trying.

I didn’t know Kyle when he was only a few hours old. He was born around Christmas which of course complicated things, so by the time I met few-week-old Kyle he didn’t look alien and unknown and personality-free. He seemed like a real human already. So it’s different getting to know this Joel, who is so fresh and new and unspotted that we can’t even assume one little thing about him. I can’t even guarantee he has eyes yet; all I’ve seen are lids. But maybe that just makes me so much more excited for him. I’ve talked with a friend or two about how it’s kind of the worst when someone assumes they know us from the start—acting all “oh these are your good qualities and such-and-such are your bad,” when they’ve no right to be making such assessments. So maybe it’s the best possible thing for mine and Joel’s relationship that neither of us can safely assume even one thing about the other. We’re starting with the blankest possible slate, and I think that will translate to it being the very truest slate. No false hopes or disillusionment or pretense on either side. Just knowing-really-knowing each other for as long as he shall live. I’ve never quite been privy to such a relationship before and I can’t wait to learn what it’s like.

He’s a fast heart-winner, though. I was worried I could never possibly love another like I do my Kyle 2 but Joel took about 1.5 seconds to put those worries to rest. And maybe someday I’ll get bored of this. Brad and Jason and Erica will have so many millions of babies that I’ll be all eh ain’t no thang, babies, whatever. But I love that for now, Joel’s existence, and Kyle’s, are such big deals. The biggest deals.

I mean look at him! He’s all, “whaaaaat?!???!? Are you being serious right now??? I just got out of a womb and you’re making me get this cold hard metal crap all over me? Can’t a guy get some sleep?” And man oh man can I relate to every teensy little bit of that. Holy cow, I love this picture, I love this kid.


becky said...

this is just a great example of why i like you so much!

HeatherC said...

I meant to comment on this way back when you posted it, I love this incredibly sensitive and lovely post. You put those feelings into words so beautifully. Are you tryin' to make a pregnant lady cry or somethin'?