Friday, March 19, 2010

no barking, no smog

Yesterday I'm like ugh I don't like this Verizon bill. So I go to the Verizon store and talk about it and they're all, yeah, you have a good point, this bill is terrible. Why don't we take twenty bucks off this bill, and then we'll go ahead and knock it off all future months too. And I'm like yeah I'm down, I can work with that, it's just also see I've had this issue where sometimes I don't get to go home all day and my phone battery gets low. And they say you know what we can do for that? We can give you a car charger, right here, right now, you'll never have to worry about going home to plug in your phone again. And I'm so down with that so I take my reduced bill and my free charger and skip on down to Urban Outfitters. And I'm glancing around there, not really looking for anything, just looking, and then my eyes fall on the most perfect skirt I've seen in months. And I try it on and it fits more perfectly than anything has in months. And I look at the price tag and there's a bright orange sticker telling me that what once was $52.00 now is $19.99. And I think yeah I can do this, this perfect skirt and I can become one for twenty bucks. So I walk up to the counter and the checker lady is friendly, she compliments my skirt because it is perfect after all, and she does her thing, scans that bar code, and gives a happy little--oh! Whaddayaknow, she says, it's on sale even more, she says. $9.99 flashes on that screen. $9.99 for the most perfect skirt in months. No bag, I say, I'll just carry it, I say. So I wrap my skirt around my charger and I've got a nice little pack. I'm on my way. Skip on down the stairs back to my car, the car that just a few minutes ago had pulled into the primest of prime free one hour parking spots. And I'm off, phone filling up with juice right there in my car, no traffic getting in my way, only one tiny little stop sign to slow me down. But oops it doesn't slow me down quite quite enough because in my rear view mirror it's the law. And I smile, I smile? I slow down and pull over, I'm on the quietest of quiet streets with the widest of wide shoulders and there's plenty of space and privacy for me to pull right over without the whole 6:00 commuting work force checking out my troubles. And Officer Parker walks up and says hello I'm Officer Parker with the SLCPD and you didn't stop at that stop sign. And I smile and apologize and giggle a little and he's all what's the deal with the giggle and the happiness and I'm all it's just, you see, Officer Parker, sir, I've never been pulled over before, and it's a bit of a thrill, you see, to be having this experience, sir. And I probably giggle some more and I don't think he means to but Officer Parker laughs as well but you can't call his a giggle. And he wants my license and reg and proof of insur and I've got them, right on hand, quick as a flash, from my week-old organization job in the glove compartment. And he takes them for a spin in his car while I take a few pictures of that flashing red and flashing blue, and before I know it here's Officer Parker back at the window, smile on his face, my documents in his hand, reminding me to come to a complete stop at all stop signs, and telling me to enjoy my shopping. And I try to give him my best million dollar because he's earned it, he's made my day. And then I'm off again and headed to things that are too secret for my blog but let me tell you what, Thursday continues in that vein.

It was a good day.

4 comments:

Erica said...

I kind of read this post like you are a 1920s mobster. I'm glad you had a good day.

Ethan T said...

I read this post like you're being held underwater and you have to finish telling the story before you are allowed to come up for air again.

Anonymous said...

happy, happy, joy, joy

I love it

Mom

Jason said...

Don't lie to policemen.

 
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