vzw

The most important thing to happen to my cell phone today was this picture message I got from my mom. She and Pops are setting sail on a luxury cruise liner.

Our dancing waiters. It almost makes me cry to see all these people from all over the world singing and dancing together. Maybe that is the key to world peace. We are underway so soon will lose service. Talk to you sunday

new kid in town

Oh how things have changed since yesterday. Suddenly there is a whole new person in my life who will be important and relevant not just for a while but for a forever. It’s weird, right? I keep seeing all over the place—on facebooks, on blogs, on texts (we’re so 2010)—things about Joel David Keck. Wait, who? I know all the Kecks, and there isn’t one named Joel, let alone Joel David. The only Joel David I know is some serial killer, and I only know him because he was referenced on some Seinfeld episode. But suddenly out of nowhere, this supposed “Joel David Keck” is a central figure in my life. I can’t quite wrap my head around it yet. I’m trying.

I didn’t know Kyle when he was only a few hours old. He was born around Christmas which of course complicated things, so by the time I met few-week-old Kyle he didn’t look alien and unknown and personality-free. He seemed like a real human already. So it’s different getting to know this Joel, who is so fresh and new and unspotted that we can’t even assume one little thing about him. I can’t even guarantee he has eyes yet; all I’ve seen are lids. But maybe that just makes me so much more excited for him. I’ve talked with a friend or two about how it’s kind of the worst when someone assumes they know us from the start—acting all “oh these are your good qualities and such-and-such are your bad,” when they’ve no right to be making such assessments. So maybe it’s the best possible thing for mine and Joel’s relationship that neither of us can safely assume even one thing about the other. We’re starting with the blankest possible slate, and I think that will translate to it being the very truest slate. No false hopes or disillusionment or pretense on either side. Just knowing-really-knowing each other for as long as he shall live. I’ve never quite been privy to such a relationship before and I can’t wait to learn what it’s like.

He’s a fast heart-winner, though. I was worried I could never possibly love another like I do my Kyle 2 but Joel took about 1.5 seconds to put those worries to rest. And maybe someday I’ll get bored of this. Brad and Jason and Erica will have so many millions of babies that I’ll be all eh ain’t no thang, babies, whatever. But I love that for now, Joel’s existence, and Kyle’s, are such big deals. The biggest deals.

I mean look at him! He’s all, “whaaaaat?!???!? Are you being serious right now??? I just got out of a womb and you’re making me get this cold hard metal crap all over me? Can’t a guy get some sleep?” And man oh man can I relate to every teensy little bit of that. Holy cow, I love this picture, I love this kid.

gimme a break

yesterday some Brit candy bar tried to bring me down




but today Valentine's Kit Kat totally had my back

enough with the air quotes

There is this little device used commonly in English that quite frankly I have had ENOUGH of. Clearly it's not the practice of ending a sentence with a preposition. No, it's something much more malignant. Three little words affixed to the beginning of a phrase, which add absolutely no value or meaning to said phrase. The only purpose they serve--or at least, fulfill--is to portray their speaker as irritatingly timid and unsure. Are you ready for it?

just. thought. I'd.

"Want to go out tonight? No? Just thought I'd ask." "Just thought I'd stop by and say hi." "Just thought I'd see what's going on this weekend." "Do you know when the concert is? Just thought I'd check."

You don't need to announce that you thought of doing a thing before you actually did it. That you first thought of it is implied by the fact that YOU THEN IMMEDIATELY DID IT. Sheesh.

narciss

All right, fine. Here's what's up.

I quit my job at BYU. I think sometimes they still miss me. I guess I hope they do. I work in South Jordan. I do marketing. I have no background in marketing. I have a background in language. I use a lot of it at work. I love it. I have friends there. I have friends I hang out with in my free time there. I have friends whose facebook walls I want to write on there. I moved to Salt Lake. I call it downtown Salt Lake even though it's not exactly quite. I think it's close enough to merit the label. I had to buy rugs because my apartment floor is so hard. I think my fireplace is the best one I've seen. I think my fireplace is the best one for me. I have done laundry twice and the dishes once. I keep things clean. I had a virus killing my computer for over a month. I got it fixed yesterday. I feel like a brand new me. I feel like a brand new computer owner, anyway. I went home to Baltimore. I am pleased to have Baltimore as the place I go home to. I don't think it's weird to go home to a place I never lived. I get asked that a lot. I am sure of my answer. I have so much software to install. I see friends more these days which is lovely. I see family less these days which is not. I never bother with all the syllables of a word anymore. I just noticed that somehow every single song in my iTunes is in there three times. I am not excited about this. I have a bunch of strangers coming to dinner tonight. I will cook for the third time this life phase. I am not confident it will be good. I don't care too much. I am getting a new nephew so soon. I like him already. I probably love him. I keep hitting snooze on the alarm clock even though I am awake. I don't know why I don't just turn it off. I plan on writing things here a lot more often. We will see.

jabber

It's like I want to post about things but every time I open up this screen all I have to say is

blah blagh blurk blech boogledy woogledy wiggledy wibble wobble woop woop woop do de do de do flim flam flah flurg yoeeyoeeyo yyyyyeah

Do you get my gist?

It's hard to put things into words, is what I'm saying.

the cuss am I

If you're wondering what's going on with me lately the answer is a whole lot. If you're wondering if I'm going to write about it any time soon the answer is nah.

But I WILL write about how much you need to go see Fantastic Mr. Fox! The answer to that is the same as the first thing. A whole lot. You need to go see Fantastic Mr. Fox a whole lot much.