whoa whoa whoa whoa

World, check this out:

Rare White Killer Whale Spotted

(too excited to keep talking)

wal-mart baby

This was the coolest thing that happened today:Yeah, totally awesome day. I couldn't even fully appreciate this odometric phenomenon because it just reminded me of a really terrible movie, one which is easily confused with an equally terrible movie that came out the year before. Not the high points of Natalie Portman's career, lemme tell ya.

Over the course of the past few hours, I have progressed from "I think I'm starting to get a cold" to "I am sick and probably going to die by sundown." I know I could have taken some Airborne®, but I don't trust schoolteachers to create my medicine. Give me a scientist or a doctor, please.

uh coodle doodle doo

"Honey, could you go out to the store? We need some chicken."
"Sure dear, what would you like?"
"Oh, just whatever, I think they're having a sale on miscellaneous bits down there to Ream's."

This sign is hilarious even totally ignoring the innovative spelling. That just makes it that much more amazing/creepy. Good to know it's only the best, though.

Name that Bluth!

good king wenceslas

Have you ever snowshoed? Because guess what I HAVE. I couldn't say that last week, but I can now. This past Saturday my partners-in-adventure and I woke up bright and early and proceeded to drive up past Sundance to the trailhead leading up to Stewart Falls, a trailhead I have acquainted myself with many times previously, but never before under 5+ feet of snow. We strapped on our gear, so generously provided free of charge by Heritage Residential Treatment Center, and set off. The hike to Stewart Falls normally takes maybe an hour and a half round-trip, but such is not the case when you're trudging through snow and the trail is buried to the point of invisibility. We got lost a couple of times but never so badly that we didn't quickly realize it and turn back to find the right way. I found that snowshoeing is one of few physical endeavors where my slight stature becomes an advantage--that snow was not sinking underneath me nearly so deeply as it was for near-300-pound Tom. Still, some parts were very difficult, specifically climbing up steep very slippery slopes, but it was definitely worth it to take in sights such as these:
That picture is stolen! I don't feel guilty about it. We did eventually make it to the frozen waterfall and it was a thing of beauty; I wish I had a stolen picture of it to show as well. The descent was much quicker, as we could follow our own tracks. We passed a few other snowshoers making their way up as we went back, and I felt pretty well pleased with being the first ones out that morning and therefore leading the way for all those to follow--the trailblazers, if you will. Just call us a fairly unexciting NBA team from Portland.

The best part of snowshoeing though was sliding on my butt down a really steep hill on a slide that had been carved out and polished by two butts before me. It was so fast and so exhilarating! It's a fact: snowslides put waterslides to shame.

Look up the words to that carol if you don't know them; pay attention to the 4th and 5th verses. They're relevant.

Coming soon: something interesting happened at my job--what??, pop culture.

a few of my favorite things

I've just been sitting here trying to decide what to write about, as I'm long past due for a new post, and as I was sitting and deciding I was also munching. On a triple cheese panino, my favorite cheap-but-still-good-and-not-too-far-away-to-walk-to lunch option. I was really drawing a blank and was going to give up and navigate away from this page, until on a whim I looked down at the sandwich in my hands that was almost gone. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature cheese star, and a tiny crumb galaxy.
Naturally I took a picture on my soon-to-be-retired phone to share with all of you lovelies. I certainly had no intention of creating this little guy, I was just absent-mindedly biting away at my sandwich, but apparently even my subconscious has a penchant for those five-pointed figures. I like it. And that last star bite was just delicious.

Speaking of celestial orbs, tonight there is a full lunar eclipse! I'm choosing to be excited about it. I love an eclipse that gives me full permission to stare straight at it. I will love it even more if I get to enjoy it by the glow of a fire in a snowy meadow in the midst of mountain peaks. Let's make it happen.

I'm really annoyed that I like this song by Ingrid Michaelson. I am fervently opposed to Old Navy commercials, and all their people slowly sauntering towards each other in strangely empty feeling spaces. And this song was a part of that. It's a huge conflict of interest. But now that I've heard the full version and the part about buying rogaine, well, it's a little harder to dismiss. I just don't know what I'm going to do. Help me decide?

love, American style

I want to tell this story, but I'm too lazy to form narrative thought today, so here:

y: you would be so so grossed out by me right now
é: why?
é: why moreso than usual i should say
y: I accidentally dropped a significant portion of my gordita on the floor
y: and obviously was not going to throw it away
y: so I gathered it up and scooped it back in the paper and am eating it
é: but but but
y: occasionally pulling out hairs or lint etc. from it
é: you have a substandard janitorial worker
y: I KNOW they NEVER vacuum
y: it should not be that gross from being on the carpet for five seconds
é: you should leave a note
é: to whom it may concern
é: i dropped my cheesey gordita crunch on the floor today and was not pleased with what i found
y: 2-3 hairs per bite
é: hahahaha
y: as an interesting flip-flop, I just got sour cream in my hair
é: are they long red curly hairs at least?
é: haahah
y: so hair in my burrito, burrito in my hair
y: no they haven't been mine, which is reeeally sketchy
é: so someone is sitting at your desk
é: putting their hair everywhere
y: or my carpet hasn't been vacuumed well in two years
é: neither is particularly appealing

Also a very happy valentine's day to all of my loves. I love you. I started to list you but then there were way too many. I guess I can consider myself a very lucky girl. I do want to make a particular shout-out to two, though: Priya and Legend. You were the fastest heart-winners I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

civic duty

Let's talk elections. I'm proud of my current state of residence for awarding its votes to Barack Obama, and particularly pleased with Utah County for giving Obama 66% of the democratic vote, the 3rd highest percentage in the state after Summit and Cache counties (69% and 67%, respectively). On the red side of things, Utah County placed first in highest portion of votes for Romney, with 94% of the county's republicans or unaffiliateds supporting that man. Unfortunately, he did not fare as well in the rest of the country. I have a hard time not thinking a lot of people in the south and east are stupid at times like these. I don't want to feel those things, I love those regions and those people, but come on guys, McCain? Who self-admittedly doesn't understand the economy very well? I mean, I could understand if we were voting for this guy:

If the John McCain of 1974 were running, I'd give him all of my votes based on sheer hotness. But that's not who we're dealing with. We're dealing with an old belligerent not well-enough educated man. Who does sketchy sketchy things in West Virginia. People, stop voting for him.

Back to the democratic side, though, I'm still feeling happily confident about Obama. I've got to ask, though: California, what is your problem? I thought you knew better. Why couldn't you listen to your first lady of state? Maybe it would have been better if one of these women had publicly endorsed Barack Obama.






Personally I wouldn't listen to Joyce Palmieri/Rachel Crisp; she has a bit of a history of choosing bad men to support. But maybe the others would have worked. I mean everyone loves Kelly Preston.

If your primary hasn't happened yet, please make sure you're registered for it and please participate in it. I'm getting nervous that we may end up with a vote between Clinton and McCain, in which case the main decision I'll be worried about making is which country I'll be re-locating to. Maybe though that will allow for Obama and Romney to run together on an independent ticket! That's plausible, isn't it? No?