if this is it

terra auctus II

2011-05-18T12:43:00.001-07:00

Am I allowed to pretend this is tumblr? And just post pictures or quotes or videos without any context or relevance? Just because I think they're nice? Because then maybe this thing will get some action. Maybe. I got a plant for my office today. I love it.

It doesn't have a name. It's a plant. If you're so keen on it having a name, you may call it Plant.

backformation

2011-05-13T12:47:00.000-07:00

Here's the thing about my new job: I can leave every day at 4:30, but I usually don't want to.

Also my ears pop a lot.

love letters

2010-12-22T14:16:00.000-08:00

assemblage becoming beleaguer brood bucolic bungalow chatoyant comely conflate cynosure dalliance demesne demure denouement desuetude desultory diaphanous dissemble dulcet ebullience effervescent efflorescence elision elixir eloquence embrocation emollient ephemeral epiphany erstwhile ethereal evanescent evocative fetching felicity forbearance fugacious furtive gambol glamour gossamer halcyon harbinger imbroglio imbue incipient ineffable ingénue inglenook insouciance inure labyrinthine lagniappe lagoon languor lassitude leisure lilt lissome lithe love mellifluous moiety mondegreen murmurous nemesis offing onomatopoeia opulent palimpsest panacea panoply pastiche penumbra petrichor plethora propinquity pyrrhic quintessential ratatouille ravel redolent riparian ripple scintilla sempiternal seraglio serendipity summery sumptuous surreptitious susurrous talisman tintinnabulation umbrella untoward vestigial wafture wherewithal woebegone

have a holly jolly keckmas

2010-12-06T15:58:00.000-08:00

Get ready for some cheese! For reasons somewhat about to be explained, I took a stab at our family Christmas letter this year. It is slightly obnoxious. Isn't that required for a family Christmas letter, though? Anyway, you might as well read this, since I'm clearly not posting anything else around here.

Dear dears,

Merry Christmas! It’s the most wonderful time of the year—and a fine time to begin a freelance writing career. When Mom decided it was more worth it to bribe us kids than come up with ideas for another family Christmas letter herself, I jumped at the chance. Ah Mom, still finding ways to teach us to sharpen our creative talents and better understand basic economic principles.

With retirement from the army looming ahead of them in early 2012, Gary & Melissa seem to have decided that the lifestyle transition will go more smoothly if they begin gallivanting across the globe and leisurely entertaining guests now. They have spent the year in such thrilling and exotic locales as New York City, the Bahamas, Germany, Florida, Cancun, and…Fort Bragg. When they can be convinced to spend time in their current home state of Maryland, they fill their weekends with hiking trips, historic site explorations, small town adventures, big city attractions, and sports games and concerts and 5K runs and more—all of which is very well documented on Facebook. Add my mom, she’s got great photos and great status updates! Somehow between all of this they still manage to work hard and serve often. Dad enjoys his work as the Commandant (doesn’t that sound so distinguished? Commandant?) of the Defense Information School and stays busy with his responsibilities in the bishopric at church. Mom works in the temple weekly, serves in the Relief Society presidency, acts as surrogate grandma for all the darling little children at church, volunteers with other military wives, and generally gives away all her time helping young mothers and families any way she can. Mom & Dad will be joining the kiddos in Utah for Christmas this year, marking the first time since 2005 that the whole family will spend the holiday together.I personally can’t wait to let Mom do all the cooking and Dad do all my home repairs.

The Utah Keck contingency is all rather fantastic. Brad & Tiffany once again stole the show this year by providing another perfect grandchild/nephew in February, Joel David Keck. Kyle is proving to be a proud and loving big brother, and the two of them together amount to more adorable than I ever knew was possible. Despite being the youngest member of the Primary, Kyle was given two crucial parts in the annual church program, and can still recite the importance of sharing your toys to show love for Heavenly Father. Brad & Tiffany, possibly inspired by our parents’ jetsetting, have booked tickets for early 2011 to New Zealand, Tahiti, and Moorea. And with all the running and 5Ks they’ve been doing this year, they’ll be ready to hit those beaches!

I apparently decided this year that my life was boring and needed to be all shaken up. I thought a trip to Australia in May might do the trick, but I guess it wasn’t enough, and so over the course of a single scorching week in July I turned 27, took a new job as Marketing & Communications Manager at The Leonardo (google us!), moved to a new apartment in downtown—and I mean downtown, I never drive anymore—Salt Lake City, and became Relief Society president of my singles ward. Things are busy.

Jason & Kimberly gave us exciting news at Thanksgiving. Oops, that is a dangerous way to begin a paragraph about a young married couple. Nope, no babies on the way just now, but a diploma instead! Kimberly will graduate from BYU in April with a degree in English, which is a thrill and will be very helpful for the two of them moving forward with other future planning, including a semester abroad in Egypt for Jason’s Linguistics/Arabic studies. They were able to visit California in August for Kimberly’s sister’s wedding, and continue to be just delightful little marrieds.

Erica is doing college up right, having buckets of fun with roommates and friends, cheering the BYU Cougars on at football and basketball games, pulling plenty of late nights, and still finding time here and there to study, probably in place of sleeping. She is enjoying her studies of English Language (the non-literature side of English—think grammar and phonetics and editing and all those glorious things). She spent an incredible summer term in the UK, making her family insanely jealous as she fell in love with the British Isles, but not so much with the British food.

We are so grateful for this Christmas season, and for the opportunity it affords us to talk of Christ, rejoice in Christ, and preach of Christ. How wonderful to celebrate the Savior’s birth! We hope you will feel of His love all year round, and especially now in this season of remembrance and celebration.

Love,

Tracy, but really each and every, Keck

come gather round people

2010-10-06T12:36:00.000-07:00

If you had asked me a year ago what I really wanted, I would have listed a lot of things. I would have said I wanted a job doing something I could be passionate about, I wanted to live in downtown Salt Lake, really downtown, I wanted to be able to walk or take public transportation to everything and leave my car parked all the time, I wanted that parked car to be paid off, I wanted lots of great single friends to constantly do fun things with, I wanted to be actively involved in church service and activities, I wanted to see more of this little old world, I wanted to take care of my body better, I wanted to discover new music and new movies and new books and new styles, I wanted this quaint and wonderful and exhilarating little young professional life.

Not to brag, but, check check check check check check check check check check.

And I'm feeling extra specially grateful for how things really can change and get better and better all the time. And I wanted people to know that I've just been too busy loving every little thing about my new life too much to write on this here blog. I've got to enjoy it while it lasts.

(Okay sort of to brag.)

it pours

2010-07-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

big T

2010-06-14T15:10:00.000-07:00

Here's what happened at lunch today.

wherever I'm with you

2010-06-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

Scribbed in a little notebook, Sunday, May 16th:

I’ve been in Australia just three days. It’s been lovely and I’ve enjoyed it and never felt like too much of an outsider. It’s been comfortable and safe and I’ve been happy to be here. But then today, settled on a pew in Sacrament meeting, I realized that until that moment, I hadn’t yet quite felt at home in Australia. I realized it because, sitting there holding my green hymnbook in a meeting that had started the customary five minutes late, seeing men in suits and women in dresses, there, in the chapel, I was home. I was among family, with people who knew me and understood me and spoke my language, as comfortable and as belonging as any other person in the room. I was home.

As I sat there, overwhelmed by the feeling of love and unity and home being among the saints, a question kept coming to mind—how can I leave? I had been planning to depart before Sunday School and Relief Society to journey on to the next destination in our Aussie adventure, but as Sacrament meeting went on, the question wouldn’t go away—how can I leave? I have a chance to be in the comfort of what feels like my own home for a few precious hours while on this faraway continent. How can I leave? What out there in Australia could be any better than this?

As the question rang through me, I realized it applied on a much grander scale than that of those few hours while on vacation. The Church, its people, its teachings, are my home. Here I am wanted, I belong, I am comfortable, I am safe. Here I am loved, and always will be. How then can I ever leave?

And though while I sat in church in Australia, it may have initially seemed that the familiarity and comfort came from the green hymnbooks, the ubiquitous LDS typeface, the standard wardrobe, the manuals, I know that the true reason that the chapel felt like home was because of the love of my Savior that I felt there. It was the truths of the Gospel that were being taught. It was the presence of the Spirit and the shared desire to come closer to Christ. These things are what united me with those gathered in a small chapel in a huge high-rise in downtown Sydney, and those things are what will unite me with the Church and its gospel for all of my life. This gospel is my home. How can I leave?

sobrinos

2010-06-09T16:01:00.000-07:00

These guys.

Am I right?

sloop john b

2010-06-02T21:09:00.000-07:00

There is nothing awesome about still being at work at 10:09.

BUT!

I guess that's false.

Because in July I'll suddenly have all these free days off, in exchange for these ridic hours that June is demanding.

And that's kind of a lot awesome.

All right, summer months and work schedule. We're cool.

vegemite sandwich

2010-05-10T17:53:00.000-07:00

I wish that I wrote on here more often

so that

it would be more appropriate for me to say something along the lines of

"sorry homies, no new posts for a while--

I'll be in Australia"

(I leave tomorrow)

good enough for me

2010-04-02T17:34:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, these delights came back into my life.

On Thursday, they were gone again.

But this story has a happy ending!

Six minute walk to more.

{and no, I didn't share one crumb}

ozzies and kiwis

2010-04-01T15:44:00.000-07:00

rose is a rose

2010-03-31T15:44:00.000-07:00

When I have babies and they need names, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go right down to the cemetery and stroll among those beautiful old headstones and when I notice one that's extra crumbled and weathered and whose engraving I can barely make out, I'm gonna take that eroding, etched word and give it brand new life.

no barking, no smog

2010-03-19T13:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I'm like ugh I don't like this Verizon bill. So I go to the Verizon store and talk about it and they're all, yeah, you have a good point, this bill is terrible. Why don't we take twenty bucks off this bill, and then we'll go ahead and knock it off all future months too. And I'm like yeah I'm down, I can work with that, it's just also see I've had this issue where sometimes I don't get to go home all day and my phone battery gets low. And they say you know what we can do for that? We can give you a car charger, right here, right now, you'll never have to worry about going home to plug in your phone again. And I'm so down with that so I take my reduced bill and my free charger and skip on down to Urban Outfitters. And I'm glancing around there, not really looking for anything, just looking, and then my eyes fall on the most perfect skirt I've seen in months. And I try it on and it fits more perfectly than anything has in months. And I look at the price tag and there's a bright orange sticker telling me that what once was $52.00 now is $19.99. And I think yeah I can do this, this perfect skirt and I can become one for twenty bucks. So I walk up to the counter and the checker lady is friendly, she compliments my skirt because it is perfect after all, and she does her thing, scans that bar code, and gives a happy little--oh! Whaddayaknow, she says, it's on sale even more, she says. $9.99 flashes on that screen. $9.99 for the most perfect skirt in months. No bag, I say, I'll just carry it, I say. So I wrap my skirt around my charger and I've got a nice little pack. I'm on my way. Skip on down the stairs back to my car, the car that just a few minutes ago had pulled into the primest of prime free one hour parking spots. And I'm off, phone filling up with juice right there in my car, no traffic getting in my way, only one tiny little stop sign to slow me down. But oops it doesn't slow me down quite quite enough because in my rear view mirror it's the law. And I smile, I smile? I slow down and pull over, I'm on the quietest of quiet streets with the widest of wide shoulders and there's plenty of space and privacy for me to pull right over without the whole 6:00 commuting work force checking out my troubles. And Officer Parker walks up and says hello I'm Officer Parker with the SLCPD and you didn't stop at that stop sign. And I smile and apologize and giggle a little and he's all what's the deal with the giggle and the happiness and I'm all it's just, you see, Officer Parker, sir, I've never been pulled over before, and it's a bit of a thrill, you see, to be having this experience, sir. And I probably giggle some more and I don't think he means to but Officer Parker laughs as well but you can't call his a giggle. And he wants my license and reg and proof of insur and I've got them, right on hand, quick as a flash, from my week-old organization job in the glove compartment. And he takes them for a spin in his car while I take a few pictures of that flashing red and flashing blue, and before I know it here's Officer Parker back at the window, smile on his face, my documents in his hand, reminding me to come to a complete stop at all stop signs, and telling me to enjoy my shopping. And I try to give him my best million dollar because he's earned it, he's made my day. And then I'm off again and headed to things that are too secret for my blog but let me tell you what, Thursday continues in that vein.

It was a good day.

modern love

2010-02-12T18:53:00.001-08:00

It's the weirdest thing, see, I'm so excited for Valentine's Day this year. I have no reason to be! I'm not in love, in the traditional sense. But every minute I keep shoving love and hearts and pink and candy in everyone's face. One of my most incredibile friends (Deanna! It's you!) asked me what specifically I love about Valentine's Day and I realized I had not one little answer for her. But I guess the answer is lying right there in the question? The word love?

Lately it's like I only come around this blog (that's website to you, Brad) if I want to gush about ohhhh the woooorld is so beeeauuutiful and life is so amaaaaazing and I'm so lucky lucky lucky and I LOVE EVERYTHING. That's pretty obnoxious, right? I would be annoyed by it. Guess what, I totally don't care, I'm doing it again.

I LOVE EVERYTHING. And that right there is why I love Valentine's Day. Because it's a time of year where for once it's socially appropriate to tell everyone, straight up, flat out, hey I love you. Maybe we never see each other outside of M-F 9:00-5:00 but I love you for working through a lunch to help me meet a deadline. Maybe you are old and married with kids and not at all in the same stage of life as I am but I love you for listening to my dating woes and thrills. Maybe I actually only e-know you but I love you for clicking like on my facebook pictures and sending me funny little messages. Maybe we don't know each other's names and will never know each other's stories but I love you for acting like you recognize me every time I check out at your aisle at Rite Aid. Maybe I have a crush on you and want to spend more time with you and it's creepy to tell you that I love you but I love you for making my day a little more exciting when my phone rings and your name pops on the screen. Maybe I have known you for my entire life, or yours, and we have been through every possible up and down together yet still have so much to know about each other, but I love you for sticking so hard by my side that whole time and for the guarantee that you're always going to stay there (that one is for Kecks). Maybe we haven't even met yet and you are just a half-formed idea of a friend or a child or a lover out there in my future but I already love you for the daydreams you give me. Man oh man how could I NOT love Valentine's Day?? I get to SAY these things instead of just feeling them!

Of course it could be attributed to such simpler things--an abundance of good music indulging my ears lately, Utah unrelentingly driving the point home that it is so so beautiful, an inordinate number of babies coming into my life, that Google Super Bowl ad--but I really think this barrage of love I've been feeling is real and deep and lasting. It's so hip to be disinterested and unmoved and unimpressed by things and I reject that. I am interested, I am moved, I am impressed. By you, probably. The other day--too few days ago--I decided I wanted to write a little Valentine's love letter to every single person I love and then realized there literally was not time. I made my list of people and used up sheet after sheet after sheet in my favorite notebook (Julia! This love shout-out is for you!) and a few pages in became overwhelmed at how many wonderful people are in my life. And then I was crying and laughing and turned the music up louder in celebration that I never have reason to be lonely ever ever ever.

So, happy Valentine's Day, love. I'm so glad I know you.

vzw

2010-02-10T20:34:00.000-08:00

The most important thing to happen to my cell phone today was this picture message I got from my mom. She and Pops are setting sail on a luxury cruise liner.

Our dancing waiters. It almost makes me cry to see all these people from all over the world singing and dancing together. Maybe that is the key to world peace. We are underway so soon will lose service. Talk to you sunday

new kid in town

2010-02-06T03:16:00.000-08:00

Oh how things have changed since yesterday. Suddenly there is a whole new person in my life who will be important and relevant not just for a while but for a forever. It’s weird, right? I keep seeing all over the place—on facebooks, on blogs, on texts (we’re so 2010)—things about Joel David Keck. Wait, who? I know all the Kecks, and there isn’t one named Joel, let alone Joel David. The only Joel David I know is some serial killer, and I only know him because he was referenced on some Seinfeld episode. But suddenly out of nowhere, this supposed “Joel David Keck” is a central figure in my life. I can’t quite wrap my head around it yet. I’m trying.

I didn’t know Kyle when he was only a few hours old. He was born around Christmas which of course complicated things, so by the time I met few-week-old Kyle he didn’t look alien and unknown and personality-free. He seemed like a real human already. So it’s different getting to know this Joel, who is so fresh and new and unspotted that we can’t even assume one little thing about him. I can’t even guarantee he has eyes yet; all I’ve seen are lids. But maybe that just makes me so much more excited for him. I’ve talked with a friend or two about how it’s kind of the worst when someone assumes they know us from the start—acting all “oh these are your good qualities and such-and-such are your bad,” when they’ve no right to be making such assessments. So maybe it’s the best possible thing for mine and Joel’s relationship that neither of us can safely assume even one thing about the other. We’re starting with the blankest possible slate, and I think that will translate to it being the very truest slate. No false hopes or disillusionment or pretense on either side. Just knowing-really-knowing each other for as long as he shall live. I’ve never quite been privy to such a relationship before and I can’t wait to learn what it’s like.

He’s a fast heart-winner, though. I was worried I could never possibly love another like I do my Kyle 2 but Joel took about 1.5 seconds to put those worries to rest. And maybe someday I’ll get bored of this. Brad and Jason and Erica will have so many millions of babies that I’ll be all eh ain’t no thang, babies, whatever. But I love that for now, Joel’s existence, and Kyle’s, are such big deals. The biggest deals.

I mean look at him! He’s all, “whaaaaat?!???!? Are you being serious right now??? I just got out of a womb and you’re making me get this cold hard metal crap all over me? Can’t a guy get some sleep?” And man oh man can I relate to every teensy little bit of that. Holy cow, I love this picture, I love this kid.

gimme a break

2010-02-02T15:47:00.001-08:00

yesterday some Brit candy bar tried to bring me down

but today Valentine's Kit Kat totally had my back

enough with the air quotes

2010-02-01T12:35:00.000-08:00

There is this little device used commonly in English that quite frankly I have had ENOUGH of. Clearly it's not the practice of ending a sentence with a preposition. No, it's something much more malignant. Three little words affixed to the beginning of a phrase, which add absolutely no value or meaning to said phrase. The only purpose they serve--or at least, fulfill--is to portray their speaker as irritatingly timid and unsure. Are you ready for it?

just. thought. I'd.

"Want to go out tonight? No? Just thought I'd ask." "Just thought I'd stop by and say hi." "Just thought I'd see what's going on this weekend." "Do you know when the concert is? Just thought I'd check."

You don't need to announce that you thought of doing a thing before you actually did it. That you first thought of it is implied by the fact that YOU THEN IMMEDIATELY DID IT. Sheesh.

narciss

2010-01-17T08:27:00.000-08:00

All right, fine. Here's what's up.

I quit my job at BYU. I think sometimes they still miss me. I guess I hope they do. I work in South Jordan. I do marketing. I have no background in marketing. I have a background in language. I use a lot of it at work. I love it. I have friends there. I have friends I hang out with in my free time there. I have friends whose facebook walls I want to write on there. I moved to Salt Lake. I call it downtown Salt Lake even though it's not exactly quite. I think it's close enough to merit the label. I had to buy rugs because my apartment floor is so hard. I think my fireplace is the best one I've seen. I think my fireplace is the best one for me. I have done laundry twice and the dishes once. I keep things clean. I had a virus killing my computer for over a month. I got it fixed yesterday. I feel like a brand new me. I feel like a brand new computer owner, anyway. I went home to Baltimore. I am pleased to have Baltimore as the place I go home to. I don't think it's weird to go home to a place I never lived. I get asked that a lot. I am sure of my answer. I have so much software to install. I see friends more these days which is lovely. I see family less these days which is not. I never bother with all the syllables of a word anymore. I just noticed that somehow every single song in my iTunes is in there three times. I am not excited about this. I have a bunch of strangers coming to dinner tonight. I will cook for the third time this life phase. I am not confident it will be good. I don't care too much. I am getting a new nephew so soon. I like him already. I probably love him. I keep hitting snooze on the alarm clock even though I am awake. I don't know why I don't just turn it off. I plan on writing things here a lot more often. We will see.

jabber

2010-01-06T15:13:00.001-08:00

It's like I want to post about things but every time I open up this screen all I have to say is

blah blagh blurk blech boogledy woogledy wiggledy wibble wobble woop woop woop do de do de do flim flam flah flurg yoeeyoeeyo yyyyyeah

Do you get my gist?

It's hard to put things into words, is what I'm saying.

the cuss am I

2009-12-07T13:46:00.000-08:00

If you're wondering what's going on with me lately the answer is a whole lot. If you're wondering if I'm going to write about it any time soon the answer is nah.

But I WILL write about how much you need to go see Fantastic Mr. Fox! The answer to that is the same as the first thing. A whole lot. You need to go see Fantastic Mr. Fox a whole lot much.

General John Bell

2009-11-06T00:53:00.000-08:00

Last night while discussing my currently-in-process move to Salt Lake with a recently acquired friend, the conversation turned to pros and cons of the city compared to others nationwide. Though my overall assessment of our fair capital is one of glowing praise, I did promptly come up with the complaint that it is a bit lacking in diversity. Probably to his later regret, New Friend challenged this, questioning whether there is really much benefit to “diversity” for diversity’s sake or whether it’s mostly just rhetoric that leads to poor execution of presumably good intentions—patronizing acts of putting a person’s culture on display for others to ooh and ahh over. Unfortunately and unfairly for N.F., his casual response to my observance led to an onslaught of my own brand of rhetoric, as those who have been acquainted with me longer would have known that once given the opportunity to discuss my thoughts on diversity/racism/integration/affirmative action/ethnocentrism/white privilege/blah/blah blah/blah blah blah, I just can’t seem to shut my mouth.

I won’t go into too much detail about my ideas here (since you, dear reader, didn’t ask), but I will say that I believe so firmly that genuinely coming to know and understand people outside of your own cultural background yields overwhelming good for you as an individual and for us as a society. The means for achieving a legitimate understanding of other groups may be up for debate, but as far as I’m concerned, the results of that achievement are not. Greater interaction and understanding lead to greater compassion, greater cooperation, greater respect, and greater equality. My admittedly idealist and probably biased views lead me to feel that so much of the conflict across the neighborhood or the country or the world would be avoided if we weren’t all so insulated with our own kind—gender/race/religion/age/nationality/anything else in an EEO disclaimer—and truly were able and willing to see things through the perspective of another and recognize the value of both the similarities and the differences we have.

When the news broke of the tragedy at Ft. Hood this afternoon, I felt compelled to stick close to my computer screen and obsessively refresh google news every minute or two. I’m sure it’s obvious but I have to note that the incident hit close to home for me. I grew up on army posts; two of my friends from high school are currently stationed at Ft. Hood; it recalled memories of when my dad was among those targeted in a shooting at Ft. Bragg 14 years ago. As the updates trickled out and the body count rose, I found myself hoping desperately that the release of the shooter’s name wouldn’t do anything to worsen this already horrific event. My heart broke as the headline at the top of the page changed—Fort Hood suspect is Army Maj. Nidal M. Hasan. I want to be sure I am very clear here—I certainly don’t think there would have been anything at all good or redeeming in finding out the suspect was a John Smith. But I did immediately worry that the simple name of this clearly disturbed man would lead to more fear and distrust and hate of a religion or a race or a region of people that absolutely do not warrant such feelings. Sadly, my worries materialized not an hour later when I heard a woman refer to the shooter by an ethnic slur. I can’t help but think that if the suspect were someone of her own background, she would have expressed anger and disgust only toward him as an individual, but because she viewed this man as part of the Other, she cast judgment upon an entire group, including a vast, vast majority of complete innocents.

In a time that is already so trying and painful and distressing to go through, I hope none of us will make the situation any more difficult for ourselves or others by adding to the amount of hate and anger that is already out there. I hope this will be a time of seeking to come together with all those around us and realizing that we each individually choose whether we will be a force for good or for something else, regardless of our heritage or beliefs. Let’s not blame the actions of one man on an entire people, now or ever. Please let’s all, in whatever manner we see fit, take this as a reminder to try to be more understanding, more appreciative, more inclusive, and more unified with all the people we have the opportunity to spend this life with. We have the potential for so much good achieved—and bad avoided—if we actively seek out and embrace all the best parts of each other, whether those parts are similar to or different from our own. If there is any positive to come of the tragedy today, let it be that we decide not to perpetuate any attitudes or behaviors that might possibly be a factor in another person committing such atrocities. Instead, let’s work toward more united communities where we sincerely know and esteem each other. There is so much to learn and so much to gain from expanding our circles of understanding. Please, decide to be a part of that.

closer than that

2009-10-20T19:57:00.000-07:00

I have to hurry and spill every last drop from my fingers before I forget anything. I think cold air is so much better at penetrating my lungs than warm and I've been trying so hard for so long to breathe, really breathe, and finally tonight it happened. I ran and ran and ran until everything hurt and no it doesn't take too much running for everything to hurt on me but it doesn't matter, it was just the right amount, and as soon as it was enough I ran back home and flung my lanky lank onto the trampoline and turned Low up high in my ears. And the wind blew one direction and I smelled pumpkins and it blew the other and I smelled apples and then it turned out the wind had one more direction to blow so it did and the pile of leaves that Miranda and Bradley had been playing in covered my face and my arms and my lanky lank and just for kicks the wind blew a walnut off the tree and onto my shin but it didn't even hurt, it was a kiss on the shin. And maybe there are some big changes happening right now and maybe there is so so much I don't know but the lucky thing about life is that there are only a few things that actually even matter and those ones I do know and those ones I do have. And I realized that if a night and a life can be absolutely perfect all by myself on the trampoline under the walnut tree breathing really breathing then maybe everything is a lot better than I pretend it to be and maybe there really is so much wonder and magic and maybe I have just as much right to marvel at it as anyone else.

Phew. I remembered.

death rattle

2009-09-28T20:42:00.000-07:00

I'm a total bore for never writing anything on here anymore. I'm still not going to write something, not really, but I feel like I should post some kind of crap, so here is how I responded when a million years ago a friend asked me whether I ate the fish I caught:

I didn't eat it. Or keep it. But I didn't really catch-and-release either. I tried to keep it. I killed it a lot. Tried to gut it etc. but couldn't really figure it out so then threw its carcass back in the water. I slammed its head on a rock! Over and over! And cried hahaha. The head slamming was to kill it before theoretically gutting it, it was supposed to be a quick painless death, but then it wasn't at all, I kept thinking it was dead and then it would start flopping again so I'd slam it again. And cry some more. I was trying to be brave and keep head slamming through the tears but I was just overcome by it all. Sad that I was killing this thing that had just given me so much joy. I tried to stop crying.

And here is the joke I kept making when I nabbed that slippery little sucker:

catfish? more like caughtfish!

Yeah this blog is doomed.

carry me boldly

2009-09-17T10:34:00.001-07:00

I know you've already seen a million of these, but

Maybe someday I'll write something on here again. Maybe not.

hooked

2009-08-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

I fish now.

I've been wanting to make my summer more American and I thought fishing might be a good step towards that. It is so fun and I love it. I got myself a year license and bought a pole and a little my-first-fishing-trip kit with all kinds of colorful thingamajigs in their own little plastic compartments. I don't know what most of them are for. I'm not really interested in getting good at fishing, or learning about fishing, just in going out and doing it. So far I have gone twice and caught a fish twice. The first one was some teensy little thing my friend told me was a "cuh-roppy." I have no idea what word he was actually saying. I should have asked him to spell it. But last night I caught a catfish that was 14 inches long. It was one of the best things I've done. Anyone want to talk really non-technically about how fun fishing is? That's all I'm looking for here.

got a number on me

2009-06-21T22:11:00.000-07:00

I've been keeping a secret from everyone except my mom and a few chosen others for the past month or two. And it's one of those secrets where when it's revealed, you're like, geez what's the big deal? Why would anyone be secret and weird about that? Well guess what, it is a big deal. To me. And it's my blog (blog blog blog! what an awful word) so that's what matters here. Okay get ready for the big reveal--the prestige, if you will:

I run.

That's it. A normal thing that millions of people the world over have been doing ever since the late seventies or so. But to me it is new and exciting and worth dedicating an entire bundle of paragraphs to. It's been secret because I didn't know if it would stick; I didn't think it would stick. Obviously I've had to run at times for various reasons throughout my life and I've always hate hate hated it. I dreaded the infamous mile run in P.E. class like everyone else. Then recently I started feeling the healthiest I've ever felt, or at least ever remembered feeling, and thought I should make the most of it. Right then, right at the moment when I was forming that idea, my unknowingly timely sister-in-law--she of the Obama/Biden teaching fame--introduced me to this program called Couch Potato to 5K. It is about running. I trust the intelligence of my readers enough to take that running program title and not need any further explanation. I've been doing it for some weeks (months?) now, and guess what, it totally stuck. I love running.

I love that every day I surprise myself with going farther than I did the day before. I love that when I take a shower it's to wash sweat off and not just to make my hair look cute. I love that I've become well acquainted with local raccoons and teensy baby quails and snakes both dead and alive. I love that I've fooled my neighbors into this aspect of my identity--"oh yeah, Tracy. Red hair, runs a lot." I love that my legs are in a perpetual state of light soreness. I love that I can join in that conversation, that ongoing conversation that I've overheard countless times, about the best places to run, which muscles are hurting, what song has the best driving beat. I love that running shoes are on my packing list for my upcoming vacation. I love seeing people out running on my drive home from work and feeling that itch, wanting to be out there with them, and feeling excitement about knowing that I soon will be. This is all so new and different and shocking to me, and I love it.

I don't run fast. I don't run far. But I run. And now you know.

yes he can

2009-06-15T18:15:00.001-07:00

Well Tiffany is clearly teaching Kyle the essentials.

That chocolatey-mouthed kid got an A+ on his civics lesson today. Okay, maybe A- for the little initial mix-up.

years of pilgrimage

2009-06-12T14:29:00.000-07:00

If I've talked to you in the last week then I've already forced this song upon you, but a lot of people have (unfortunately) not been a part of my week, and so I must take more drastic online measures to make sure everybody hears it. I've been needing a song to set the tone for my summer and I think at last I've found it. Summer's off to a slow start this year, what with all the surgery recovery and mother nature confusing Utah with Seattle, but these Frenchies Phoenix and I are finally ready to kick it into gear. Seriously, just go ahead and try to keep your feet still while listening to this little ditty. It won't happen. I honestly cannot foresee anybody not liking this number. Oldies, babies, preps, punks, cowboys, indians, your mom, your dad--they will all be into it. And there's nothing I love like bringing the people together. Make sure you give it the full 4:02.

Phoenix - Lisztomania

a four count rhythm

2009-06-04T12:54:00.000-07:00

This is just a bit of silliness that I wrote about the process of constantly having to start new IVs in my arms over the past couple months (heeeey over-obviousing the obvious!). Please don't take it seriously.

It’s not my mother but my veins that are the fish. They lurk beneath my skin, winding and flowing and bathing and then just every so often, when the shallows feel warm and inviting, they briefly surface. And we wait, on the hunt. These moments, these intervals of luring them up to a visible depth, these are what we will wake before the sun to find, these are what cause us to grin victoriously (but silently!) when at last they happen. Those fish-veins will slither and slink but we will wait, we will get them. For we are trained in the art and practice and we know our roles and will not shrink from them. It is dusk now, a late evening in summer, and I feel them coursing through me. They’re active, they’ve become overconfident, splashing on their merry red way, and I know this window will not last. I rush to the fishery, where my compatriot waits with our gear at the ready. Then still, ever so still, this is my part of the operation, to keep the slippery things calm and quiet and unaware of their impending doom. We’ve got friendly waters today; translucent, smooth, warm. Conditions are perfect, but the things have been known to weasel away from perfect conditions before. Quiet— still— steady now— steady— and— NOW! My fellow hunter thrusts the harpoon, a clear target beneath its razor tip. But oh! The squirming thing has rolled away and swims out of sight, down to the depths where it cannot be reached. There is still hope—there has not yet been time for the fish on the other side to be alerted to the commotion. They still glide lazily about just under the surface, basking in the warmth. Again, quickly now! And this time her aim is sure. The fish-vein is hooked and tethered and struggle though it might, it will not break free. Quickly his companions sink out of sight, sorry for the loss of their brother but unwilling to linger and suffer the same fate. For now, they are safe from our hunt. We only want one. We only need the right one. But don’t you get too comfortable, oh little veins. We’ll be back for more.

arkansas toothbrush

2009-05-18T12:31:00.000-07:00

Oh geez my longest hiatus ever. I have an excuse though and it will now be presented to you in graphic form. But I warn you! These pictures are extremely NSFQS (not safe for queasy stomachs). That's why I'm making you click on a totally different link to see them, if you so desire. Be advised: insides of bodies will be present and highly visible.

Enter at your own risk.

Yikes, I'm really sorry to those of you who just clicked through that slide show. I hope you weren't planning something delicious for dinner.

So now I'm pretty much great, feeling healthier than I have in months, and making tons of septuagenarian friends at IV Club. Every morning, seven days a week, I have to go at 8:00 to a clinic to have an IV treatment of antibiotics. I was dreading that fate when I learned of it, but it's actually quite fun. Everybody else is super old so I'm kind of a novelty in those parts. And do I like attention?? Yes, yes I do. So it's cool. Plus there are free juices and snacks, and this oldie Gary even brought me a chiminichanga this morning. No joke. Gary is awesome. Coupla things about him: started the BYU barber shop and cut hair there for 50 years. Was once the #2 ranked Birmingham Roller pigeoner in the world. Is missing half a pinky because he once stuck it up his nose and a booger bit it off. Oh, Gary.

Abrupt ending!

melby tuesdie

2009-04-01T21:48:00.001-07:00

I feel like the whole world doesn't know how hilarious my mom is.

And it's a darn shame.

Because like today for example she sent me a text that said, "There is a flag coming out of your head."

And after minutes on end of trying to remember some inside joke or funny picture that happened once, I replied that I didn't know what she was talking about. And she replied back, "April fools. I bet you checked your head huh."

And I mean what kind of 51 year old woman thinks of stuff like that??

And what kind of woman doesn't care that you just told everyone she's 51??

The answer is my mom. She's so awesome.

say something about support groups

2009-03-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

I've been gone a while and no excuses for that besides the fact that I've been busy with

and obviously there is more to be told about that but it's not my current purpose in coming here. No no, I came here because it's about time that I formally announced that my eensy teensy tiny little baby brother is getting married. And I'm so very excited to have Kambelin in my family and married to my brother for so many reasons, not the least of which is because she brings out stuff like this in him

Because let's be honest if these sorts of things had to be arranged solely by my brother they probably would have turned out more like

Ha just kidding J-spot. But basically what I'm saying here is hooray for love. And don't worry her name is really Kimberly.

specificity fail

2009-02-13T16:25:00.000-08:00

The good thing about initially naming my blog after the song that was in my head at that moment is that any time a certain Huey Lewis anthem comes on in Walgreens or something it's like a little love note from the universe to me. Thanks, universe, you've even got the right weekend for such things.

In other news, I went to Best Buy yesterday and they really need to make up their minds.

Needless to say there was nobody utilizing this parking space. It's probably not all that often that a preggo mama shows up to pick up her online order. When one actually does, though, boy do they have the spot for her!

Also, notice how the sky was so clear and blue and lovely yesterday? Today it is like this:

Okay I wasn't entirely sure how that webcam through the window picture taking was gonna go and obviously it was not stellar, but you can see what I'm talking about. It's a ding dong winter wonderland out there. And normally I am all for that sort of thing but not when it is preventing me from seeing some very important people. Mother Nature, you and I are through. Don't be holding your breath for any calls in early May because I assure you, they are not coming.

While we're having fun with the webcam, why not take this opportunity to simultaneously show you I love you and display my newest haircut?

See, I transported myself to a heart-infused parallel universe just to make this valentine for you! I love you! Most likely if you are reading this then the preceding is true, and I do love you, but not if you're just someone who came here because you googled "coodle doodle doo." I get a lot of you folks. Actually, though, if you're a big enough fan of the greatest comedy of our time to google some of its catchphrases in your spare time, I guess I probably love you too. Awesome.

I can't seem to stay on one topic for longer than a few sentences today so let's keep going with that. I recently acquired this:

A few key things to know: 1. It is a locket. 2. It is handmade. 3. The flower part is made from Czech glass. 4. The girl who made it lives just down the street (the street called I-15). Needless to say I love it. I am supporting local artists in an eensy-teensy way, and wearing it is a shout-out to my heritage, plus it is so darling if I do say so myself. This is where I need help though--what to put inside?! I had this romantic notion that I want to put something quite meaningful inside so that when I'm old and dying my posterity will consider my locket to be such a treasure. But I have no ideas yet what that significant something could be. So far the best I've come up with is a small print of this, folded up and tucked inside:

Ahhhahaha. Seriously though.

Finally, one last Valentine's treat. I just dare you to listen to this song and still try to have a bad attitude about love and the world around you. I assure you, you cannot do it friend. It will melt even the most frozen of cold February hearts. You're welcome.

super

2009-02-04T14:29:00.000-08:00

Listen up. I think iceberg lettuce is the best base for a salad. I find it superior in both taste and texture. You heard me, romainians. And don't even think about bringing up spinach.

a question rather droll

2009-01-28T19:26:00.000-08:00

I've found that for me the best way to avoid any icy winter slip-ups is lift foot straight up, place foot straight down in short, firm steps. And really this tactic is just a precautionary measure of self-preservation but I hope that sometimes people notice me and admire my strict military marching discipline.

42 inches

2009-01-24T12:24:00.000-08:00

You know how at baby showers nowadays usually when you show up, they have you write your name and address on an envelope to be used for your thank you card? Male readers, heads up: they do this. Well it is a really good idea for a number of reasons. It is certainly much more efficient than having everyone write their addresses in a notebook, only to have to transcribe all these addresses over again onto envelopes. And it helps to ensure that the person being showered really does send out thank you cards, since that big annoying part of the task is already taken care of. What I'm saying is I fully endorse the write-your-address-on-an-envelope part of a baby shower, it is a great thing.

Still, there is something so trippy and shocking about opening your mailbox to find a letter addressed to yourself in your own handwriting. I fall for it every time--what's this?! A message from the future! What piece of knowledge did I need to receive on this very Thursday, future-Tracy? Some sort of warning? All the upcoming professional sports scores so I can finally quit my job and get rich without doing any work?!

Oh, wait, no--Sara liked the hangers. Also good to know.

there is no why

2009-01-12T10:12:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

without civilization

2009-01-08T16:16:00.000-08:00

The area on and around the scar on my back is numb to all sensation. It has been this way since it was initially wounded; I'm not presenting you with a recent development in my life. It's about an inch and a half wide by nine inches long, and it feels nothing. I've grown accustomed to it for the most part. When someone is scratching my back I now anticipate the little hop from one side of my back to the other. I recognize that a massage will never be quite as satisfying as it once was. I will never be able to tell if somebody tapes a kick me sign right to the middle of my back.

But today I realized the worst effect of all.

Those 13 1/2 square inches of skin will never be warm again. Jack Frost has been so adamantly forcing himself upon us, refusing to yield until every last one of us has given up the fight against his wiles and resigned to the fate of three months of shivering. Today in my last valiant effort to vanquish the cold, I took a hot shower once I got home. It seemed to be working until I realized the sad truth. A blank, deadened spot right in the middle of everything, that no amount of steaming water could reach. I felt the comfort of the warmth to either side, but right there in the center, nothing. It's going to be a long winter.

I guess there are bright sides, though. Perhaps my expanse of numb skin will become the opposite of an Achilles' Heel. My Paris' Spine. I will be invincible there--just try to poke or pinch me! Do your worst! I feel nothing. Or if some future boyfriend accuses me of being unfeeling, I can quickly turn the tables in that argument by making him feel guilty about bringing my scar into it. Who's the insensitive one now, future bf?

timbertoes

2009-01-03T08:34:00.000-08:00

It is a comfort
to know
In these tumultuous times
That I can rely on one constant
When I visit a doctor
regardless of specialty or state
Even if no malady is diagnosed
No elixir prescribed
At least I will have
Some fun with a purpose
There will be a Highlights magazine
And hidden pictures will be exposed
And hilarious riddles will be memorized
And crafts concocted
And recipes learned
And Gallant
that ever faithful Gallant
contrary to everything
Goofus would influence him to do
Gallant
Will show me the way.

dalmation plantation

2008-12-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

It's tall, it's skinny, it's crooked, it has more Strawberry Shortcake paraphernalia than you might initially expect. I think it's clear what's happened here.

reindeer games

2008-12-08T13:22:00.001-08:00

I want to commend the National Football League for really getting into the spirit of the Christmas season by pitting the San Francisco 49ers against the New York Jets yesterday.

All that red and gold and green and white. I've never seen a field so full of holiday cheer.

dynamite

2008-12-03T19:01:00.000-08:00

Tonight I got a Christmas tree (be assured, more to come on that) and when I was done putting it up I found myself covered in sticky, gooey sap. My next item on the to-do list was setting up my new DVD player but obviously didn't want to do it with sticky fingers mmm Wingers so I went to wash the sap off. I used soap and water and washed over and over and over but nothing. Still a sticky mess, just sort of globbing together into a tar-like substance. Then I remembered that I maybe had heard something about peanut butter that could be relevant, so I opened up my trusty jar of Jif and smeared the stuff all over. Presto! All the sap was instantly slicked off. It was a pretty good trick. But then I had to rinse the peanut butter off of my hands and so put them under the faucet and rubbed and rubbed and rubbed but the creamy delight would NOT come off. Irony! But then I got really innovative and tried washing it with soap, and wouldn't you know, it came right off. And finally my hands were clean. I think there is a lesson to be learned from all this, I don't know what it is yet, but I do know that from now on instead of playing rock-paper-scissors I am going to play sap-peanut butter-soap. I'm still working on the hand gestures for each.

earth fire wind heart

2008-11-25T23:29:00.000-08:00

I have a somewhat ugly confession to make.

Earlier tonight I needed to do the dishes, so I turned on the faucet to wait for the water to get hot. Then unexpectedly my doorbell rang, so I went downstairs to answer it. It was just one of my piano kids wanting to tell me about his upcoming orchestra Christmas concert. We chatted about that for a while, then talked about the Jazz, and how the Orem Tiger freshman basketball team was doing, and I watched him take a few 3-point shots in the driveway.

There is nothing ugly about any of those interactions with good old Josh, but I am a bit ashamed to admit that after ten minutes or so I went back upstairs to find that, duh, I had left the water running. At a pretty full blast. And I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I am a spoiled, privileged, takes-things-for-granted American girl, who just lets something quite precious go to waste. I couldn't help but imagine the devastation on the faces of people in third world countries if they saw those gallons and gallons of clean, fresh, drinkable water just gushing down the drain. There are millions of people who are willing to walk miles and miles or carry more than their muscles should be able to or pay ridiculous prices they can't come close to affording just to get some clean water into their bodies. And there I was, completely careless about what I was throwing away, fully expecting that whenever the whim strikes me, I can turn a little knob and all the water I could care to use will inevitably come flowing out.

My friend Judy has a goal of building a water project in a third world country every year for the rest of her life. Last year her efforts helped establish a water system in Nueva Concepción, Guatemala, bringing fresh water to 367 people. This year the target is San Luis Potosí, México. It is the home of the Huichole people, and it is extremely dry and water is scarce. The aim is to build a project consisting of three water cisterns and an animal corral structure with a roof that will harvest rainwater. As you might imagine, these things do not come free.

In this time of giving thanks for our abundant blessings--and I think I can safely assume that the internet access allowing you to read this post would automatically categorize you among the blessed--please take a moment to consider those many many people who lack the basic necessities vital to survival. I realize that there are many causes and charities that could use your support, and especially at this time of year, it is easy to be bogged down by requests for help. But imagine for a moment that you can't just turn that knob and get a drink of water. If you would like to learn more about the water project or make a donation, please click the button below to find out more, including details about how to help.

de medicina praecepta

2008-11-15T12:24:00.000-08:00

Remember back when President Bush and President Obama both, in totally independent speeches and settings, said that they wished they could wave a magic wand and make gas prices go under two dollars? Yeah, we all had a good laugh. Impossible! But I think those guys must have both brought their magical A-games to their meetings together last week, because yesterday this happened:

The sad thing is now when I'm sitting on my couch trying to think of something to do with myself, one of the first things that pops into my head is "ooohh, I could go get gas!" There is just something oh-so-satisfying about seeing that gallon meter hit 10 before the dollar meter hits 20.

rosa sat

2008-11-04T11:05:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to lie.
I may have shed a tear or two looking at that little white X on that 8 bit screen today.

Let's go change history, America.

not surprised at all

2008-10-16T13:19:00.000-07:00

My friend Matt is a very talented artist, writer, comedian, and I suspect maybe even musician somehow, since he's good at everything else. I can't confirm the last one, but he definitely is talented at sending me mp3s of good songs. They always come through without a download error or virus! So yes, my friend Matt is good at everything. And I've long admired his artwork and finally got just ~~vain~~ bold enough to ask him to make some artistic rendering of me (because apparently I am Jan? Look for my new candle line in stores spring 2009). Ignoring for a minute how completely self-indulgent it is to first ask someone to draw you, and then to plan on displaying said drawing in your own home as if it is as worthy a subject matter as Don Quixote or Dora Maar, I just want to share this. Because I quite love it. And even though I'm no revolutionary fictional character or muse to one of the greatest artists of all time, Matt is pretty revolutionary for our time, and his work deserves to be shown.

make a note of this

2008-10-14T13:37:00.000-07:00

You know what I've decided I like more than food? Drink.

Exhibit A: A lot of times at a restaurant as I'm perusing the menu there is no dish that looks particularly appealing to me; meanwhile I am drooling at the beverage offerings on the last page tucked in that bottom corner. I don't know why they don't give drinks a place of more prominence on menus. They deserve it. I think one of these days I'm just going to go for it, get what I really want when the waiter comes up and asks if he can start us off with some drinks. "Could I have a Diet Coke? And a raspberry lemonade? And a chocolate milk? And a cranberry juice? And a water? And keep all the refills coming, please."

Exhibit B: If you look in my fridge right now, you will find orange juice, grapefruit juice, cranberry juice, limeade, white cranberry peach juice, milk, assorted water bottles, assorted flavored water bottles, Diet Coke, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, Korean plum juice, root beer, and then, like, some cheese.

Exhibit C: I'd rather drink an actual liquid milkshake than eat a bowl of ice cream. I'd rather suck a blend of fruit and yogurt and juice up through a straw than sit down and munch on some oranges and strawberries and bananas.

**EDIT**

I thought of an Exhibit D: Every time I do the dishes the ratio is something like five glasses to every plate.

Drinks, for the win.

falling off at maturity

2008-10-04T19:30:00.001-07:00

Lately everyone who lives in Utah and has a blog has been going on and on and on and on and on about how beautiful the fall leaves in their given local canyon are.

And everyone in Utah is RIGHT.

tilt

2008-09-26T12:16:00.000-07:00

I think Man really does a pretty good job sometimes of creating things that rival even the mountains and waterfalls and meadows and constellations in beauty. And if I'm being honest, I might even have to award an extra point to us mortals for so expertly and efficiently combining beauty with function. Not that mountains and waterfalls aren't functional--I realize that providing shelter and hydration are pretty necessary tasks--but then humans come along and add a water wheel and boom, this scene is more quaint and picturesque plus it can now provide enough power for an entire Swiss family.

My favorite man-made structure, though, has long been the windmill. Maybe it's because I got to go inside one once, maybe it's because of their frequent proximity to tulips, maybe it's because a good soundtrack was created around a particular red one. I'm not sure why I have such an affinity for windmills, but I think they are beautiful and strong and I love the idea that they are harvesting the air to turn it into something so usable. So you can imagine my delight when earlier this year, I looked southward and saw that the inversion had lifted its heavy, smelly blanket to reveal that a smattering of windmills had popped up! Right here in my very own valley! I've been wanting to get up close and personal with them ever since but it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I finally had an opportunity to take a drive through Spanish Fork canyon and get acquainted. Unfortunately I couldn't get any closer to them than my passenger seat would allow, but I think it's best that our first introduction be casual anyway. Now that we're a bit more familiar with each other I will undoubtedly be making another expedition that involves actually getting out of the car and walking right up to them, and you, dear reader, are welcome to come with me.

Just look at these nine little darlings!

They're definitely a bit more contemporary in design than those ferocious molinos of Don Quixote fame, but I think the windmills of this generation are just as magnificent as their ancestors.

For a parting gift, you really should go do a google image search of "windmill" right now; that first page of results is just so lovely.

number 32 (not page)

2008-09-23T11:24:00.000-07:00

It's really hard to do anything right now besides look up reviews of the So You Think You Can Dance shows that have already happened on this tour and get myself so so worked up about what will be right in front of my eyes in a few short hours.

And it says specifically that no recording devices of any type are allowed but those jokers can't stop me, I'm totally going to bring in a notebook and pen to take notes of everything that goes down.

I see no shame in pointing out cool things about myself when I think it is deserved, and I deserve this--it's quite a fortunate quality to be completely fine with going to "things" by yourself, and enjoying them every bit as much as you would if you had some semi-reluctant friend in the seat next to you.

Ba da ba ba.

fah who for-aze

2008-09-03T12:34:00.001-07:00

I kind of love that emotions sometimes cause real physical reactions. It seems like the best form of validation of them, like "hey no you can't dismiss my feelings--see this salty discharge all over my face? These things are real!" And sure there are the obvious things like how we laugh when someone says something hilarious or how our lower lip sticks out and droops a little when the stores run out of Cadbury mini eggs the day after Easter. But even those feel a little conditioned, a little too voluntary. Like if I am mad at the hilarious person because he ate my last Cadbury mini egg, regardless of how funny his joke was, I can make myself not laugh. Other times though, the psychology trumps the physiology, and emotions overpower the body, and it doesn't matter how much you tell yourself you need to eat because you haven't in twelve hours, your broken heart just won't allow it. Or you really wish all those sudden little bumps on your arms would just lie flat and stop alerting the whole world that you're super excited to be having a flirty little conversation with that guy, finally. But it's a futile effort. Sometimes emotions take over.

And lately the weather has finally, finally cooled down, and the mornings smell like Christmas, and Timpanogos has its first sprinkling of snow, and the next time I have a day off work it will be for Thanksgiving. And the past few days as I sit at my desk and think of these things, and think of the drives through the canyon to look at fall leaves and the unplanned parking lot snowball fights and the football games and the trick-or-treaters and the baking and decorating and loving and all of these things that are headed my way, I just can't help it. My breath catches for just a second and then suddenly I inhale so quickly and deeply that my lungs are just about to explode and I get a miniature oxygen high and it's as though my body needs all that excitement that is in the air to be inside me, immediately. And I don't choose to do it but it just happens, and every time it thrills me to see how a feeling announces its presence so blatantly, making sure the rest of me doesn't miss the fact that my heart is so delighted.

It's coming--it's coming!

challenge: hurled

2008-08-27T13:48:00.000-07:00

Students.

I know your existence is the basis for my earning a living and all that, but please go away.

Thank you. Now I can enjoy parking spots and short lines at Target and no waits in restaurants again.

ka-pow!

2008-08-21T14:23:00.000-07:00

I still haven't forgiven Willy Wonka for discontinuing the green Pixy Stix.

Doesn't he know lime is the best flavor of everything???!?

winter dreams

2008-08-20T13:24:00.000-07:00

I can't remember the last time I was this excited about a movie.

Scratch that, I just watched the trailer for the seventeenth time or so and I'm sure I've never been so excited about a movie.

dangerously hazel

2008-08-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

There's this happy little song that's been on the radio quite a bit of late, and you know what, I don't mind. Not at all. In fact I rather enjoy it; it puts a smile on my face and and usually sends my feet a-tappin' on the brake and my hands a-beatin' on the steering wheel.

And there are a lot of things I like about it but probably my favorite thing is the little shout-out to my people that the singer gives, when he calls on his audience to listen to the music of the Mormon people dance and sing. I really appreciate that he's recognized what we have to offer. Because let's be honest, Mormon people do dance and sing.

You can listen to the tribute yourself if you like--it's about midway through the second verse.

((Okay I used to have a link to the song here but the file's gone so forget it, just forget this post ever happened))

weensy powders

2008-08-14T22:25:00.001-07:00

Okay so in general I do not recommend a complete lack of organization as a lifestyle. It certainly causes me more trouble than it benefits me and I know I would be a lot better off if I would keep things in their place and have every bit accounted for. But! There are rare occasions where it pays off big time, and they almost make all the other confusion and disarray worth it. For example, when you are finally, finally, going through all the stuff you have stashed in your closet haphazardly to be sorted out and dealt with later, and discover that you have a completely full, unopened bag of these waiting for you, in August.

Family size, fools.

a dip in the yangtze

2008-08-12T14:33:00.000-07:00

I know everyone's been all about the men's 4x100 relay, and I mean, rightly so. It was everything an athletic event could ever hope to be. But still, that Olympic moment was topped for me.

It was topped when, amidst a flurry of celebrations over earning an unexpected bronze medal in men's gymnastics, USA's Jonathan Horton suddenly turned to the camera and cried out in utter jubilation,

We're going swimming in the river TONIGHT!!!

Oh heck yes.

Celebratory festivities do not get any better than that.

the only bee in your bonnet

2008-08-06T11:53:00.000-07:00

I have a new boyfriend, and his name is Ched'R Bites. We've been seeing each other regularly for the past couple of weeks and it's going so well. He puts my old flames, A&W Cheese Curds and BK Cheesy Tots, to shame. Plus he brings along his cute brother, Buttermilk Ranch. Oh it's a match made in heaven.

Today though when I ordered my ched'r bites and diet vanilla coke, the guy working at Sonic asked, "do you want to add anything else to that, like maybe some mozzarella sticks?" Um, no, I think one batch of fried cheese is enough, thank you.

(But if we're being honest, one batch of fried cheese isn't really enough.)

Then for some reason instead of doing their usual Nukem's Nineties at Noon today on the radio, X96 decided to go a different route--Every Song Tracy Loves That Will Make Her So Happy. Nice of them.

Finally, speaking of anniversaries: happy birthday, bionic spine. Here's to twelve months of great parking spaces, learning how to bend and twist again, too-short shirts, excellent posture, complications at airport security, stress-free internal organs, level shoulders, and every kind of pain management this world has to offer. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

silver

2008-07-18T11:54:00.000-07:00

Well, do I look any different?

(I think the descriptor you're looking for is "wiser")

go forth to serve

2008-07-14T21:24:00.000-07:00

Part of my job (most of my job) entails administering surveys to people associated with Brigham Young University--students, alumni, faculty, surrounding community members, blah blah blah. Before we send out one such survey, for obvious reasons, we test it out ourselves, to make sure the questions make sense and the links on the interweb work and that we didn't accidentally write "extreamly satsifide." That is not how either of those words should be spelled, though it does look kind of cutely old-timey. So in preparation for our upcoming Freshman Pre-Arrival Survey, today I had the opportunity to reflect on my state of mind before arriving in Provo that fall of 2001, and remember what I would have said were I given the survey at that time.

I don't really want to talk very much about that, except to use it as a point of introduction to what I actually do want to talk about. Today I reveled, gloried, in the reminiscing of one of the greatest and most important breakthroughs that I ever made in my college career. An epiphany that struck me with the full force of a thousand thunderbolts about two months into my first semester. It's laughable, now, to think that it took me that long--it was staring me right in the face! How could I have lasted so unaware for so long?! The signs were all around me! Nevertheless, despite being a little slow in finally picking up on this vital piece of knowledge, it came. Eventually, it came. I learned possibly the singular most significant reality that would come to have an impact on the rest of of my college career; nay, on the rest of my life.

Holy crap, I didn't have to go to class.

It happened one morning around 9:30, on a day after I had been up probably until about 3am ~~flirting with a boy~~ studying for a test. Psychology started in half an hour, I hadn't showered, my eyes would barely open, I had time to brush my teeth and pull some jeans on and get to the SFLC. I did these things, and proceeded to gather up my materials for class. I looked in my notebook to make sure I had my assignment in there, ready to turn in, when the syllabus coyly hinted at me that I had nothing due. There wasn't a quiz, either. In fact, the chapter we'd be going over that day was only a continuation of the previous class, because many people have difficulty with that particular section (synapses--who knew?), but I felt rather comfortable with the material. Suddenly, the room brightened. All became clear. I could get right back into bed! Nothing would change--not my grade, not my academic standing, not the amount of tuition BYU wanted from me, not one thing. The only consequence would be that I could get an extra hour and a half of sleep, and be that much more alert for American Heritage later in the day. My oh my. Universe, I accept.

Things were never the same after that. Sure, I went to class most of the time. But I realized that sometimes things needed to be prioritized, sometimes the prescribed course of action was not the best course of action, and sometimes, sometimes, I knew what was better for me than my professors or administrators did. And that may just mean taking a break from class at times when going to class would break me. Thank you, heart and mind, for enlightening me, and making my academic experience all that it could possibly be.

Note: Mom, this post is a complete joke, I totally went to every single class I was ever registered for, always.

Second Note: Erica, you better go to all your classes this fall. If you don't go even once you will probably fail college.

zoom zoom

2008-07-10T12:43:00.000-07:00

Things my car can teach you about me:

I live (and kill bugs) in Utah.

I work at BYU. Uhh apparently my parking pass is expired? Maybe I'll check on that.

I am disabled, at least for another month.

I think diet soda tastes better.

I prefer my music the old-fashioned way, recorded on tangible objects.

I love happy hour at Sonic. Hello Route 44 cranberry limeade.

I have a parent in the military.

I'm a Democrat. Also, it rained recently.

And because I told her I'd bombard her with wishes in every possible medium: happy birthday Kristen! You're my favorite of all the Kristens I know, or even the Kristins.

Aaand because I love So You Think You Can Dance so much, enjoy this song from last week's episode. I've been listening to it pretty much nonstop since then, and my choreographed routine to go along with it is nearly complete. Move over Mia Michaels.

we at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we're aware of

2008-07-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

Black car + near 100 degree heat + metallic stereo buttons = daily dilemma: Which do I value more, listening to a good song on the way home from work, or intact fingerprints? I mean the non-melted variety.

shear genius

2008-06-27T16:34:00.000-07:00

What's up, world. Oh me? Not much, just having a personal photo shoot featuring the shortest hair of my adult life and terrible lighting. I think I ask other people to indulge me way more than my fair share but guess what, it's about to happen again. Check it.

Commentary: It was really hard to keep it to only two peace signs. My skin does not really glow supernaturally. Side and top views are apparently important inclusions. My bangs do poke my eyeballs sometimes. It is not the worst thing ever; neither is it the best. I'm pretending the off-center pictures create a more interesting layout. All of these pictures do look better in their original size, I think. You can click on one or more for proof. Let me know if you want a recommendation for a nice salon in Provo--they even offer you a beverage when you arrive. Unless you hate my haircut, then you probably don't want to go there. Not even for the can of soda with a straw stuck in it. Bravo has the best reality shows, besides SYTYCD.

glad as I can be

2008-06-16T11:13:00.000-07:00

You know how sometimes somebody will ask you about somebody else in a very general way, as in, "oh, you're dating someone new? What's he like?" Or maybe something along the lines of, "so tell me about your boss." They're not looking for any specific information, just whatever little bits of that person you find worthy of sharing. In most cases I hate this type of question, because come on, what is there to say? With most people I love dearly, despite the fact that they are completely awesome, there's not really any great way to convey their utter coolness to someone else just with a few summarizing statements. "Well.. he/she likes music, and things that are fun. Sometimes he/she says interesting or funny things. Other times he/she's in more of a quiet mood, and doesn't talk as much. Umm.. I'm sure he/she has some hobbies." Yeah, not so fascinating. But! There is one person whom I love to be asked about. Because he may very well be the Most Interesting Person I Know, and it's so easy to quickly spout off loads of intriguing tidbits about him. And it just so happens that he fathered me.
Presenting Gary Lee Keck, ______ extraordinaire. There is nothing this man cannot do. Scuba dive all over the world in exotic locales? No problem. Build an entire house from start to finish with his own hands, including all electric/plumbing work? Ain't no thang. Be King of the Army? Check. Work as a prison guard at Shawshank? Old news. Repair antique mechanical clocks to get them working and beautiful again? Uh, only every other day. I could go on and on, but I feel that format is quickly becoming tiresome. Suffice it to say, my dad is incredible, and I love talking about him. Okay, he may be a little overzealous with punctuation in emails, but besides that he is the absolute tops. There's never been a moment when I wasn't positive that my dad is capable of solving each and every one of my problems, and he very generously does so all the time. In fact, I wish he were here right now because instead of all the hassle and cost I'm about to endure on account of wrecking my car's bumper, he would have it fixed and looking better than ever lickity-split. And I'm so glad that he was the lucky bachelor who won my mom's heart and hand (shout out to my mom's awesomeness--she had three options). Happy Father's Day, Dad-Dad-Daddy-o. Love ya, mean it.

P.S. Busi-ness?? Mankind was my busi-ness!!
P.S.2. Oh-solmio-it's-a-rigatonio
P.S.3. What? (you know, because, deaf)
P.S.4. Isn't out yet, get on it Sony.

Sorry, if you're not a Keck, you miss out on those jokes.

just when you thought it was safe*

2008-06-16T10:24:00.000-07:00

Orcas have been known to co-operate with humans in the hunting of whales. One well-known example occurred near the port of Eden in South-Eastern Australia in between 1840 and 1930. A pod of Orcas, which included amongst its members a distinctive male called Old Tom, would assist whalers in hunting baleen whales. The Orcas would find the target whales, shepherd them into Twofold Bay and then alert the whalers to their presence and often help to kill the whales. Old Tom's role was commonly to alert the human whalers to the presence of a baleen whale in the bay by breaching or tailslapping at Kiah river mouth where the Davidson family had their tiny cottages. This role endeared him to the whalers and led to the idea that he was "leader of the pack", although such a role was more likely taken by a female as is more typical in Orca cultures. After the harpooning, some of the Orcas would even grab the ropes in their teeth and aid the whalers in hauling. The skeleton of Old Tom is on display at the Eden Killer Whale Museum, and significant wear marks still exist on his teeth from repeatedly grabbing fast moving ropes. In return for their help, the whalers allowed the Orcas to eat the tongue and lips of the whale before hauling it ashore. The Orcas would then also feed on the many fish and birds that would show up to pick at the smaller scraps and runoff from the fishing. The behaviour was recorded in detail in the 1840s by whaling overseer Sir Oswald Brierly and recorded in his extensive diaries. It was recorded in numerous publications over the period and witnesses included Australian members of Parliament. The behaviour was recorded on movie film in 1910 by C.B Jenkins and C.E. Wellings and publicly projected in Sydney although the film is now missing. In 2005, the Australia Broadcasting Corporation produced a documentary "Killers in Eden" on the subject. The documentary featured numerous period photographs taken by C.E. Wellings and W. T. Hall of the phenomenon and also featured interviews with elderly eyewitnesses.

Thanks, wikipedia!

*Alternate title: Just when you thought killer whales couldn't be any more awesome (they can).

you and the cap'n make it happen

2008-06-09T11:43:00.000-07:00

Delicious Horchata Recipe:

Pour one heaping bowl full of Cinnamon Toast Crunch® cereal.
Add milk (2% is best).
Procure spoon.
Eat cereal out of bowl at a leisurely pace, perhaps while watching an episode of Scrubs.
Surprise! Once the cereal is gone, your bowl is full of horchata!
Enjoy.

blather and dither should not both be words

2008-06-06T12:08:00.000-07:00

A couple of things:

¤ Sometimes I weep (on the inside) because no guy will ever fall in love with me for my cooking. I will not prepare you an amazing meal. I'm sorry, for the both of us.
¤ There are two female full-time employees in the Faculty Office Building, and two women's restrooms. I am rather territorial over the south end one. Walking in to encounter another patron in said restroom is generally the greatest shock I experience in my life.
¤ The Faculty Office Building used to be called the Staff Office Building, but the name was changed once the People In Charge realized the inevitable abbreviation frequently used to refer to the edifice. Hilarious!
¤ There is one reality competition-based show that matters, and this is it: So You Think You Can Dance.
¤ If you've ever been concerned that I might one day become an intravenous drug user, please put that worry straight to rest. Needles are not my friends.
¤ This funny little bullet symbol is made, in Windows at least, by holding down Alt and typing 0164 on the right number keypad thingy.
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ See?
¤ Heated pools are actually the key to happiness. In case you've been wondering about that.
¤ Nine constitutes more than a couple. Forgive me.

What the heck! A picture!
Wow, Kecks are hot.

barbie dream house

2008-05-12T13:26:00.000-07:00

The picture doesn't do enough; the wrap-around porch is obscured by the bushes and you can't see the sprawling yard with rocks for climbing and a stream for splashing and a miniature but equally beautiful Victorian playhouse. But: pink blossoms, weather vane, white wrought iron fence, the chimney, the turret. It reminded me of these favorite toys from my childhood.

I guess "move to Draper" is now on my list of things to do.

the fourth, the fifth

2008-04-28T15:24:00.000-07:00

It's difficult for me to acknowledge that the most moving and introspective experience I had on my recent trip to southern Utah took place in a pet cemetery. I'm not even into animals that are owned by people who aren't scientists. Most especially the three types most prominently represented at Angels Rest. Angels Rest, no apostrophe. Which makes the second word a verb, not a noun, which makes the name entirely more interesting. Most likely it was also entirely unintentional, but I'll forgive them their oversight since it works so well for their purposes. Obviously the beauty of the moment had nothing to do with being surrounded by graves and ashes of dogs and cats and birds, and everything to do with being in a place with the sun shining on me and vibrant colors as far as I could see and desert plants somehow thriving and the perfect amount of wind simultaneously causing the perfect amount of quiet and noise. And most of all, this glorious and awesome (and by that I do mean awe-some, old school definition) music resonating to me and through me from every direction, creating harmonies so lovely it was painful, gah, I had no idea harmonies and tones like that existed. I don't even want to say what the source of the music was because I feel like that would demean it; once I said what it was then everybody would think of their own experiences and think they understood but they wouldn't, it wouldn't suffice, it was more than that. Supposedly Vladimir Lenin said something about Beethoven's Appassionata, that he couldn't listen to it too often because it made him want to say kind things and stroke the heads of his enemies instead of beating them. This was music capable of such feats. I may have lived the most peaceful 30 seconds of my life standing in that cemetery outside Kanab.

I feel like this is a copy of a something I recently read, a too conveniently similar idea as expressed by someone else. It's not a copy, it's a coincidence.

I got it from my pianist Joe Zawinul

2008-04-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

I have a couple of introductions I need to make. And by a couple I literally mean two, and fortunately I can do them both at once. The first is my new laptop. I went ahead and spent my economic stimulus (ha) before I received it, which I'm pretty sure is a really wise financial habit. Sorry to geek out about a computer so much, but it really is exciting to me, for lots of reasons. I'll mention a few. I finally have (stolen) internet at home without having to carry my work laptop back and forth all the time, and it even works on the couch! Not just up against the window by my bed! Also it has an HDMI output which means I can plug it into my TV and watch things from it in big screen high definition, whoa. It came with a remote control, which, maybe every laptop does now? I have no idea, but I think it's way too awesome. Finally, there is a webcam, so you can expect to see a lot more pictures of my face with various parts of my apartment in the background. I'm sure those will be thrilling for everyone. All right, maybe not so much, BUT! It will allow me to present to the world all my friends and lovers, starting with the #1 person on my list and in my life, this guy:
This is my nephew, Kyle. Apparently he is nothing but trouble. And likes to eat cookies. I realize that most everyone who reads this here weblog also reads that of my brother and sister-in-law, and so you are already well acquainted with his utter adorability, but for the few who are strangers to Brad & Tiffany, soak it in. He. is. awesome. This actually isn't the best picture ever of Kyle, he's kinda wonky-eyed, but I love how into that cookie he is. He's not messing around there. There's no time for posing for pictures. There is a cookie to consume.

Hey Mom there's some of my ceiling, do you miss it?

Let me know if you want an Obama '08 sticker for your car. Especially if you want a "Republicans for Obama" one. I will be so pleased to hook you up with that.

I've never said 'geek out' before; Jenna Fischer made me do it.

into the future

2008-04-05T10:51:00.000-07:00

This morning a woodpecker was pecking away on my chimney. It came in short bursts of staccato, like I was either under gunfire or receiving an urgent message in morse code. I think I don't have to tell you that this was an incredibly annoying event, especially to be taking place before my alarm clock went off. He just kept pecking and pecking, not giving up, determined to build his new nest (is that why woodpeckers make holes? I don't know) in my chimney.

The thing about my chimney, though, is that it's made out of metal.
What an idiot.

Before this morning, yesterday to be specific, I was on a walk (from my office to my car) and noticed a girl in front of me eating a banana. It looked to be just the perfect ripeness, and I was quite jealous of her, as I was in the mood for an afternoon snack and bananas are quite possibly the world's perfect food. Just ask Miss Chiquita. So I kept close on her tail, lest she be struck by a sudden desire to share (sharing is caring), but she decided on a different course of action instead. Right in front of my eyes, she dropped the peel of said banana right in the middle of the sidewalk. At first I was bothered--who would so carelessly toss their garbage right to the ground as soon as it is inconveniencing them, despite the presence of a perfectly functional trash can not twenty feet ahead? But then I had a second thought--maybe she's not a litterbug. Maybe she's just a student of comedy. If cartoons and Mario Kart have taught us anything, I think it's that there is little in life funnier than somebody slipping on a discarded banana peel. I'd like to think that after nonchalantly walking a few more steps away, the girl hid behind some bushes giggling to see someone fall prey to her clever trick. Man, just thinking about that possibility makes me laugh. I mean, look at this image! Hilarious! It even looks like she got one of those jerks from the business school!

Note: Contrary to popular belief, not every male business student at BYU is a jerk. I'm lookin' at you, Kirk.

your new bicycle

2008-03-27T12:09:00.000-07:00

Reason #287 for my hatred of America's health care: the 806 more dollars I suddenly owe for stuff that went down over six months ago.

Somebody please fix this broken system.

industry!

2008-03-18T12:56:00.000-07:00

I've got a thing or two to discuss with you, Utah.

Item 1: Traffic. So you finally recognized what we've all known for ages, that the traffic in Utah Valley has gotten absurd. Apparently you thought the answer to this was installing a metering light at the Orem Center Street entrance to I-15. One car per green, eh. That's sure to clear things right up. I'm not sure about the status of University Parkway, 800 North, and 1600 North's entrances. I know Provo Center Street has remained intact. I was pretty annoyed about having to pause before I merged the other day, but really it's just an indication of a problem that was already there, nothing that new. But is this really the best solution you could come up with?

Item 2: Ice cream. Seriously, residents? You can keep Leatherby's, Cold Stone, Baskin Robbins, Coney's, the Malt Shoppe, Hogi Yogi, Provo Fro-Yo, Dairy Queen, the Creamery, and Sub Zero in business, but you cannot sustain one little Ben & Jerry's? Don't you know this was the best ice cream you had going for you? Now this one I feel some personal responsibility for. I won't lie, there have been times when I've thought, "man, a scoop of Sweet Cream and Cookies with hot fudge sure sounds delicious right now," and haven't acted on that impulse. Shame on me. I should have never failed you, Ben & Jerry's. I'll never forget the joy you brought to my life when you opened up within walking distance from my apartment at a time when I didn't have a car. I'm sorry my loyalty wasn't strong enough. I should have been in line every week. But to an even greater extent, shame on Utah County for apparently opting for any other of the multitude of ice cream shops here over the one that was clearly the best, and is now gone.

Item 3: D-League basketball. Sorry Utah Flash, but I'm not sure your best marketing is in flaunting how Morris Almond used to be in the NBA, and now he plays for you. League leading scorer though he may be, it still puts far too much emphasis on his demotion. You might as well put up a billboard that says, "These guys are worse than the basketball you already know and love! Come check them out!"

You can go ahead and get back to me when you've come up with viable responses to the above matters. I know you've got it in you, you can work like honeybees after all. Let's keep our deseret lovely.

whoa whoa whoa whoa

2008-03-07T14:48:00.000-08:00

World, check this out:

Rare White Killer Whale Spotted

(too excited to keep talking)

wal-mart baby

2008-03-04T12:33:00.000-08:00

This was the coolest thing that happened today:Yeah, totally awesome day. I couldn't even fully appreciate this odometric phenomenon because it just reminded me of a really terrible movie, one which is easily confused with an equally terrible movie that came out the year before. Not the high points of Natalie Portman's career, lemme tell ya.

Over the course of the past few hours, I have progressed from "I think I'm starting to get a cold" to "I am sick and probably going to die by sundown." I know I could have taken some Airborne®, but I don't trust schoolteachers to create my medicine. Give me a scientist or a doctor, please.

uh coodle doodle doo

2008-02-29T14:03:00.000-08:00

"Honey, could you go out to the store? We need some chicken."
"Sure dear, what would you like?"
"Oh, just whatever, I think they're having a sale on miscellaneous bits down there to Ream's."

This sign is hilarious even totally ignoring the innovative spelling. That just makes it that much more amazing/creepy. Good to know it's only the best, though.

Name that Bluth!

good king wenceslas

2008-02-27T10:48:00.000-08:00

Have you ever snowshoed? Because guess what I HAVE. I couldn't say that last week, but I can now. This past Saturday my partners-in-adventure and I woke up bright and early and proceeded to drive up past Sundance to the trailhead leading up to Stewart Falls, a trailhead I have acquainted myself with many times previously, but never before under 5+ feet of snow. We strapped on our gear, so generously provided free of charge by Heritage Residential Treatment Center, and set off. The hike to Stewart Falls normally takes maybe an hour and a half round-trip, but such is not the case when you're trudging through snow and the trail is buried to the point of invisibility. We got lost a couple of times but never so badly that we didn't quickly realize it and turn back to find the right way. I found that snowshoeing is one of few physical endeavors where my slight stature becomes an advantage--that snow was not sinking underneath me nearly so deeply as it was for near-300-pound Tom. Still, some parts were very difficult, specifically climbing up steep very slippery slopes, but it was definitely worth it to take in sights such as these:
That picture is stolen! I don't feel guilty about it. We did eventually make it to the frozen waterfall and it was a thing of beauty; I wish I had a stolen picture of it to show as well. The descent was much quicker, as we could follow our own tracks. We passed a few other snowshoers making their way up as we went back, and I felt pretty well pleased with being the first ones out that morning and therefore leading the way for all those to follow--the trailblazers, if you will. Just call us a fairly unexciting NBA team from Portland.

The best part of snowshoeing though was sliding on my butt down a really steep hill on a slide that had been carved out and polished by two butts before me. It was so fast and so exhilarating! It's a fact: snowslides put waterslides to shame.

Look up the words to that carol if you don't know them; pay attention to the 4th and 5th verses. They're relevant.

Coming soon: something interesting happened at my job--what??, pop culture.

a few of my favorite things

2008-02-20T10:05:00.000-08:00

I've just been sitting here trying to decide what to write about, as I'm long past due for a new post, and as I was sitting and deciding I was also munching. On a triple cheese panino, my favorite cheap-but-still-good-and-not-too-far-away-to-walk-to lunch option. I was really drawing a blank and was going to give up and navigate away from this page, until on a whim I looked down at the sandwich in my hands that was almost gone. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature cheese star, and a tiny crumb galaxy.
Naturally I took a picture on my soon-to-be-retired phone to share with all of you lovelies. I certainly had no intention of creating this little guy, I was just absent-mindedly biting away at my sandwich, but apparently even my subconscious has a penchant for those five-pointed figures. I like it. And that last star bite was just delicious.

Speaking of celestial orbs, tonight there is a full lunar eclipse! I'm choosing to be excited about it. I love an eclipse that gives me full permission to stare straight at it. I will love it even more if I get to enjoy it by the glow of a fire in a snowy meadow in the midst of mountain peaks. Let's make it happen.

I'm really annoyed that I like this song by Ingrid Michaelson. I am fervently opposed to Old Navy commercials, and all their people slowly sauntering towards each other in strangely empty feeling spaces. And this song was a part of that. It's a huge conflict of interest. But now that I've heard the full version and the part about buying rogaine, well, it's a little harder to dismiss. I just don't know what I'm going to do. Help me decide?

love, American style

2008-02-14T13:20:00.000-08:00

I want to tell this story, but I'm too lazy to form narrative thought today, so here:

y: you would be so so grossed out by me right now
é: why?
é: why moreso than usual i should say
y: I accidentally dropped a significant portion of my gordita on the floor
y: and obviously was not going to throw it away
y: so I gathered it up and scooped it back in the paper and am eating it
é: but but but
y: occasionally pulling out hairs or lint etc. from it
é: you have a substandard janitorial worker
y: I KNOW they NEVER vacuum
y: it should not be that gross from being on the carpet for five seconds
é: you should leave a note
é: to whom it may concern
é: i dropped my cheesey gordita crunch on the floor today and was not pleased with what i found
y: 2-3 hairs per bite
é: hahahaha
y: as an interesting flip-flop, I just got sour cream in my hair
é: are they long red curly hairs at least?
é: haahah
y: so hair in my burrito, burrito in my hair
y: no they haven't been mine, which is reeeally sketchy
é: so someone is sitting at your desk
é: putting their hair everywhere
y: or my carpet hasn't been vacuumed well in two years
é: neither is particularly appealing

Also a very happy valentine's day to all of my loves. I love you. I started to list you but then there were way too many. I guess I can consider myself a very lucky girl. I do want to make a particular shout-out to two, though: Priya and Legend. You were the fastest heart-winners I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

civic duty

2008-02-06T13:28:00.000-08:00

Let's talk elections. I'm proud of my current state of residence for awarding its votes to Barack Obama, and particularly pleased with Utah County for giving Obama 66% of the democratic vote, the 3rd highest percentage in the state after Summit and Cache counties (69% and 67%, respectively). On the red side of things, Utah County placed first in highest portion of votes for Romney, with 94% of the county's republicans or unaffiliateds supporting that man. Unfortunately, he did not fare as well in the rest of the country. I have a hard time not thinking a lot of people in the south and east are stupid at times like these. I don't want to feel those things, I love those regions and those people, but come on guys, McCain? Who self-admittedly doesn't understand the economy very well? I mean, I could understand if we were voting for this guy:

If the John McCain of 1974 were running, I'd give him all of my votes based on sheer hotness. But that's not who we're dealing with. We're dealing with an old belligerent not well-enough educated man. Who does sketchy sketchy things in West Virginia. People, stop voting for him.

Back to the democratic side, though, I'm still feeling happily confident about Obama. I've got to ask, though: California, what is your problem? I thought you knew better. Why couldn't you listen to your first lady of state? Maybe it would have been better if one of these women had publicly endorsed Barack Obama.

Personally I wouldn't listen to Joyce Palmieri/Rachel Crisp; she has a bit of a history of choosing bad men to support. But maybe the others would have worked. I mean everyone loves Kelly Preston.

If your primary hasn't happened yet, please make sure you're registered for it and please participate in it. I'm getting nervous that we may end up with a vote between Clinton and McCain, in which case the main decision I'll be worried about making is which country I'll be re-locating to. Maybe though that will allow for Obama and Romney to run together on an independent ticket! That's plausible, isn't it? No?

copyright infringement

2008-02-05T12:54:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling like it's time to write but I don't have anything I particularly want to write about. So instead I will let others do the writing for me. I may or may not add commentary.

When I set out to start this here documentation of my existence, I knew the first thing I'd have to do was choose something to fill in the space between http:// and .blogspot. I'm sorry to break the news to my current url that he was not in fact my first choice--but don't take it too hard little guy. You were up against some stiff competition. I will now present the audience with excerpts from five of the sites I tried to claim as my own. I will not, however, provide the addresses for said websites. If you were to find them on your own simply through guessing what I might have wanted for my site, well then you know me quite well friend, and I'll contemplate rewarding you in some way.

Blog the first!

the naked chef is the coolest guy on tv. he just cooks out of his own (extremely cool) apartment somewhere in england. and they film him going to all these little groceries and independent farm stands. and then he goes home and just breaks down everything you'd want to know about everything he uses in his recipes.

I can totally get behind somebody who talks about what they watch on TV, and who enjoys the Food Network. Glad to see she and I think alike on website names.

Number two.

Strange how the days moved and flowed, change in temperament coming only with rest and reflection, or lack thereof. The more thought she put into how things were or were not working for her, the more she became depressed and cried. How did the regular people stand it, she wondered? Is disconnection and avoidance how the world survives? These questions had no clear answer, obviously.

This girl's entire blog is written in third person, with the singular exception of the sentence "I don't know why I did this" in an early post. She's also very sad. Somehow I'm feeling some responsibility for her sadness now. I hope she's doing better.

3

hmm, happy new year! it's a perfect day to start a blog. =) new yr always comes with resolutions... i just wanna be happy. sounds rather cliche, i know... but it's what i really want. havent felt sheer happiness in a long time. funny...

She apparently is not given to capital letter usage. She does, however, have an appreciation for the ellipsis. Which is a terrible name for a band. I'm glad her New Year's resolution was not to faithfully update her blog, because this is her only entry.

Fourth

i wake up and begin to turn to look at the bright red numbers on my alarm clock, but before i can move close enough to see the time i hear the click and the radio begins to play a familiar song. it is six am. i hate when this type of thing happens(waking up just before the alarm goes off). i listened to the rest of the song and when it was over i felt around for my glasses, (they are never where i leave them).

Very detail-oriented. And that hatred of waking up right before the alarm clock, well that's something we all can relate to isn't it.

And, finally, five

I was talking to a friend about past relationships, specifically mine, and she provided a really interesting perspective on happiness...If you're banging your head against the wall, once it stops, you deceive yourself into thinking that you are happy. It's not happiness - it's an absence of pain. What we sometimes fail to recognize is that there is a whole other level of happiness on the other side of that wall.

Hmm, all of the blogs-that-could-have-been were written by females. There's got to be something interesting about gender roles to be discovered in that. I guess I am decidedly girly, if all the urls I wanted are owned by girls. I appreciate that this one wrote "a whole other" rather than "a whole nother," even though it is awesome that English does have that one infix that doesn't get nearly enough attention as a linguistic phenomenon.

Rock the vote, please.

cronchaloncha, base!

2008-02-01T14:34:00.000-08:00

^^ That one's going out to my big brother Brad. He gets it.

I realized that the custodian in question yesterday is in need of a serious attitude adjustment. With one simple change in lifestyle, he would quickly find that his woes can become his joys. In my days of early morning custodial work, I would find a little morsel here or there of spilled/unwanted/discarded food. That is NO cause for complaint. That was breakfast! If our IAA custodian had been truly diligent he would have seen that there was even a half-full bottle of Sprite in the trash can that he could have used to wash down the daily popcorn fix. I really think he could benefit from this new diet plan. Maybe I'll leave him a note.

Segue.

I've been tagged! I've read those three words on many a blog in recent months, usually followed by some type of questionnaire the author was requested to fill out by one of their blog friends. I feel like in my being tagged, I've now officially been inducted into the blog world. I'm a card-carrying blog member. This paragraph also goes out to my big brother Brad, who loves nothing more than he loves the word blog. Blog blog blog. Hi buddy!

On with the hopefully self-revealing survey. This one came in the form of eights.

Passionate about:
1. language
2. killer whales
3. music
4. cheese
5. F. Scott Fitzgerald's writing
6. race relations
7. autumn
8. comfort

Want to:
1. go back to Korea
2. make music of my own
3. jump out of an airplane with my dad
4. regularly use my KitchenAid and Magic Bullet
5. learn how to parallel park
6. get a graduate degree
7. see a killer whale in the wild
8. Color Me Mine

Have recently read
1. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - James Joyce
2. I Am America and So Can You - Stephen Colbert
3. various short stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald
4. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
5. Man's Search for Meaning - Viktor Frankl
6. Details magazine
7. The Little Black Book of Style - Nina Garcia
8. The Memory Keeper's Daughter - Kim Edwards

Say:
1. oh, really?
2. heeeey
3. Institutional Assessment, this is Tracy
4. I don't care
5. see if Scrubs is on
6. sweet
7. I'm going home now
8. but I mean,

Attracted to friends by:
1. making me laugh
2. not taking themselves seriously
3. intelligence
4. an appreciation of good food
5. interest in various forms of media
6. downloose (this is the opposite of uptight that I just made up)
7. the right balance of logical and emotional
8. tolerance of me

Could listen to over and over:
1. Regina Spektor - Begin to Hope
2. M.I.A. - Paper Planes
3. Once soundtrack
4. Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah
5. Most any Bright Eyes
6. Bloc Party - This Modern Love
7. Something Corporate - Konstantine
8. Queen/David Bowie - Under Pressure

Learned last year:
1. America's health care system is broken
2. one room can be better than four
3. bodies can handle more than you might think
4. hamburgers aren't so bad
5. fresh flowers and live plants do wonders for a home
6. moms always take care of their babies no matter how old
7. Oreos can in fact get any better, through a brilliant change in packaging
8. people are the same in a lot of important ways and different in a lot of important ways

And I:
1. like that I'm not fashionable
2. could say the alphabet backwards when I was 2
3. have a really comfortable bed
4. don't much care for drivings cars
5. love my nephew
6. take more baths than showers
7. feel like something big is going to happen
8. will be really disappointed if it doesn't

Oh, I forgot the part where you tag eight more people. Oops.

take an armful. make a treat.

2008-01-31T10:17:00.000-08:00

Wow. When the employees of Institutional Assessment & Analysis arrived at our office this morning, there was a little surprise waiting for us. In the form of a note, left on the keyboard of one of our student desks, that read as follows:

Please don't eat popcorn here. You always drop 2-3 kernals.

The obvious author is the custodian assigned to cleaning our little office suite. I have to say I am amazed by this note. I mean, it takes a lot of gumption to write a request that basically could be paraphrased, "Please don't make me do any work for my job." Is this guy kidding? I'm assuming it's a guy based on the hand-writing. Yay gender stereotypes. But how do you have a job where the entire premise is based upon cleaning up messes, and then complain about the existence of a mess?? Doesn't he know those popcorn kernels are paying his BILLS? We start being clean freaks and you're out of a job pal. I know there are currently at least three custodians assigned to this building; without a rogue kernel or two making its way to the floor I'm sure they could downsize. And who would be the first to get the axe? Well, the guy begging for less work, obviously. Furthermore, I'm intrigued by his specificity--2-3 kernels a day? Has he been keeping a tally, finding means and standard deviations? I'd love to see his Popcorn Droppage Bell Curve. I think one thing is quite telling, though: "kernals." Note the A. I guess maybe he shouldn't set his sights too high above that career in custodial work.

Today I am more excited about a Relief Society activity than I've ever been before. Not that that's really indicative of much, I mean an excitement level of 12% would probably be higher than I've ever previously been about a Relief Society activity. But I am really legitimately looking forward to this. We're going to the BYU Museum of Art and having a tour guided by Martha Peacock, Ph.D./member of the Sharon 5th Ward. I had her as a professor my freshman year of college for a General Ed class (art history, as you may have guessed) and still consider her to be the best teacher I ever had. As in, so so good at the act of teaching. Not that she was the one I was closest with, or loved most, or was most inspired by, but just plain best at teaching. And tonight I get an hour or more of her talking about art! Lucky me.

If you're not Mormon, and don't know what Relief Society is, why it's only the oldest women's organization in the world. It's been doing all kinds of good since St. Patty's Day 1842. Charity never faileth.

I can't wait to make so many messes in my office today.

it's the network

2008-01-29T12:29:00.000-08:00

You see this?

Well I know what you're thinking--"that looks like buckets of fun!" First of all, you're accidentally confusing the Busy Ball Popper® by Playskool with Mr. Bucket®, by Milton Bradley. It's an easy mistake; balls do pop out of his mouth. Secondly, the Busy Ball Popper is not nearly as fun when in place of that pink ball, it has a Samsung A930. Imagine it looking something like this:
And imagine that phone is yours, and wedged quite tightly in above location, and is ringing. Thanks a lot, Kyle the baby.

Actually it wasn't that big of a problem, after a little disassembly and various forms of shaking, hitting, pounding, jiggling, etc. it came out no worse for the wear. And the good thing is it gave me a chance to flex my Photoshop muscle.

Speaking of my phone, though, I accidentally left it at home when I came to work today. And you know how it is when you are away from your phone for a long time: there is no disappointment like coming back to it and seeing you missed not even one call or text. So this is call to action! If you know me, and know my phone number, send me a text or call and leave me a voicemail so I can be so so happy when I get home. I realize this is an entirely selfish plea...I'm okay with that. It would be so kind of you though!

if you catch me at the border I got visas in my name

2008-01-27T18:54:00.000-08:00

I realized today that vanilla is the lime of the dessert world. There is not a dish that a hint (or more) of lime does not improve--at least that I have encountered--;such is the case with vanilla and all things sweet. Holy punctuation! That's how I meant it though. I'm so glad that I have a giant bottle of McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract in the cabinet over the sink, not imitation mind you, and that I have an even gianter bottle of Private Selection* Vanilla Syrup. Invest in these two items and you'll never be left missing that certain something for your sweet tooth again.

Speaking of lime, for claiming to be the expert on all-things-pie, Marie Callendar's Key Lime Pie is severely lacking in both texture and flavor. And is way overdone on whip cream. Whipped cream? Anyway, Rumbi's where it's at.

In case you've been wondering whether I managed to acquire a pair of jeans from Urban Outfitters for $9.99 this weekend, the answer is an enthusiastic yes!

*I had to go over to my pantry and look at the bottle to see who made this stuff. Private Selection? Take themselves a little seriously, do they?

what. what.

2008-01-25T12:31:00.000-08:00

And here it is: my very first totally public, all-access blog. One that will not be solely devoted to physical maladies. I'm excited, you're excited. On with it.

The first thing I need to talk about here is mold. Or mould, if you're a limey. This morning found me wanting to drink some juice, as mornings often do. Unfortunately this craving came immediately after I brushed my teeth, and I knew that combination of Crest + cranberry was not going to be the delicious delight I so hoped for. No problem, thought I, I'll simply bring it into work with me and wait until the minty freshness has worn off so that I can enjoy my juice properly. I filled my hospital thermos (shout-out to scoliolioliosis) with 500 mL of Ocean Spray and went on my way. Approximately 17 minutes later I'm in my office and ready for refreshment. I go to take a big gulp of juice, only to discover that nothing comes through the straw. My first thought was that the straw was too tight against the bottom of the thermos, and the juice couldn't squeeze through. I yanked it up a little bit and went for another drink, only to find the straw dysfunctional again. Now I don't claim to know anything about Science, and that should be obvious by my next theory--that the lid was sealed on so tightly to the thermos, and my mouth sealed around the straw, and somehow the lack of air flow made the straw un-workable. I was operating under the poke-a-second-hole-in-the-can-to-make-substanceX-pour-nicely principle. So I twisted off the lid and had another go at it--still nothing. Only then did it occur to me to check the straw itself for any impediment, and there, to my horror, was a solid inch of multi-colored mold lodged in the bottom section of the straw. Siiiick. I threw it in the garbage immediately, and considered doing the same with the juice, but I just couldn't let that much cranberry go to waste. It still tasted fine. I think I'll be okay, health-wise. I mean don't they make medicine out of that stuff sometimes? It's very likely I completely made that up. Anyway my point is mold is gross, cranberry juice is not.

In other news, I had my first sewing lesson last night. A few weeks ago I bought this beauty at Target:
for the low low price of $24.98. Since then it's just sat cutely on various surfaces in my apartment, but last night it became fully operational. My lesson was supposed to be only an hour but I was way too into it to let my teacher leave at that point. We were just getting to the good stuff. Now I can tell you all about seam allowance and reverse stitching and I even know what bobbin means. Pretty impressive if I do say so myself. Soon I am going to be a sewing MACHINE! Get it? Hilarious I know. Sorry if I already made that joke to you earlier today.

Ummm my url and blog name come from a Huey Lewis and the News song. What the?